Stop This Train.

Babystar visited the Emergency Room this week.

She was scared but very brave and very very sweet.

Babystar just wanted to make sure that I would hold her the whole time at the doctor’s office. I promised that I would. We first went to Urgent Care because Babystar had not peed in twenty-four hours. And she had a fever for about half of that time. AND I gave her a choice of peeing or going to the doctor and she told me that she didn’t want to pee. So into the car we went.

Ok, technically she had not peed in twenty-three and a half hours, but Urgent Care closes at seven and the co-pay difference is $300. And since we just moved here, Babystar does not yet have a pediatrician. That changes today, by the way.

(Anyone in Boulder have a pediatrician recommendation pretty please?)

The doctors and nurses at Foothills ER were all very very nice but they definitely underestimated the strength of my little ToddlerMonster. Since she had not peed, there was concern of a possible UTI or other infection. Which meant they needed a urine sample. She is not potty-trained, and she was straight up refusing to pee, so they needed to do a baby catheter.

I wanted to cry but I was a brave strong mama. (We were there alone due to family logistical reasons.) And Babystar was on my lap because I PROMISED. (Well actually she was between my legs but she knew she was on mama’s lap so that’s all that mattered.)

Do you know that if you take a young child to the ER they basically put them in a straight jacket? They hold baby’s arms by his or her side and wrap a sheet around baby’s entire torso. MY baby was screaming and fighting this whole situation, and they wanted ME to hold her arms inside this torture device. MY sweet baby wiggled her arms up and out, but not to rip off the sheet or push away the nurses. She just wanted to hold my hands.

Things were not going as smoothly at the other end of the gurney. The nurses cleaned and prepped her but holding her down for the catheter was not working at all. Babystar is strong like mom, y’all. She has a shirt that says so and everything. They had to go get another nurse to help hold down my little thirty pound kicking machine.

They tried.

It didn’t matter in the end.

She. Peed. Everywhere.

I have never been so happy to be soaked in baby pee. (She was on my lap, remember?)

And for those med students following along, since she was prepped, she was clean. A quick thinking nurse collected a sample for testing. Actually, I think they managed to get two vials and they probably could have gotten twenty. There was SO. MUCH. PEE.

She even peed on her head. I didn’t know that she peed on her head, so when the nurses left and I was cleaning her and changing her clothes and giving her a million kisses, I kissed her head. Right on the pee. It was gross. I didn’t care.

Hashtag momlife, right?

I got to wear awesome blue paper scrubs and pretend to be J.D.

We waited around for about thirty more minutes and Babystar was pronounced bacteria-free.

BOOM. $350.

We have been talking a lot about the potty the last couple of weeks. Babystar will be three in June, and she is showing all the textbooks signs that she is ready for the potty. She knows when she is peeing or pooping in her diaper (because she always tells me right before it happens so I can be ready to change her because “remember that time I had a rash and it hurt?”) She hasn’t had a wet diaper overnight in almost a year. She has the ability to hold it. Obviously. And she actually DID pee in the potty about two weeks ago. We made her a chart with stickers and did the pee pee dance and she got some chocolate candies and we did ALL THE THINGS.

But she hates it. She doesn’t want to use the potty and she tells us all the time. So I told her we would stop. And that while she was sick, she could have m&m’s every time she pees in her diaper. My sweet funny Babystar got so excited and said, “we don’t have to go on the potty train anymore?”

Did I just push her potty training back to age four? Probably.

Will she go to college in diapers? Maybe.

Am I the worst mom in the world? Nah.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $26,819.73

 

Big Girl Bed.

If I build it, she will sleep in it.

That’s a thing, right?

CAN IT PLEASE BE A THING?!?

Ok, so before we even left for Colorado, Babystar said that she was really excited to sleep in her own bed like a big girl. She also said it was going to be right next to mama’s bed.

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that if you click through and purchase anything, I may earn a small commission. You will earn my eternal gratitude.

The night before we moved into the Colorado house, I sat in a hotel room and ordered this adorable pink toddler bed from Amazon ($63.99). Over the weeks, we also bought a cloud pillow and an actual lovely toddler sized blanket ($8 at Home Goods). Then, yesterday, after opening at least fifty million boxes, I FINALLY found the crib sheets. (Toddler beds are just cribs with no walls.)

Voila! The newest addition to my bedroom.

big girl bed 2

See it over there next to my bed?

big girl bed

(Yes, I actually made BOTH of these beds for this picture. I am not good at making beds.)

The ponies love it. As do the Trolls. And the dinosaurs.

For real though. Who actually thinks that BABYSTAR will sleep in this bed before her third birthday?

RAISING BABYSTAR: $26,469.73

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Toddler Love.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Once upon a time, when I was young and punk rock, I thought that Valentine’s Day was a stupid made-up joke. I have never cared if I ‘had a Valentine’ or made a big deal if I DID happen to be in a relationship on February 14.

But I ADORE the kid-version of the holiday. I can’t get enough silly puns and sugary love. Still Hallmark, but harmless. (And I am 100% behind Galentine’s Day because that shit is genius.)

Somehow this year, Babystar found out about Valentine’s Day. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the forty million times we have been to Target in the last month. Plus it’s a NEW Target, so I don’t yet know where all of the land mines seasonal aisles are located. (I know now.)

We explained all about Valentine’s Day (the kid version) and she wanted to make Valentines for her friends. So sweet. But of course we just moved over 1500 miles away from home so none of her friends are nearby. She talks about them every day and tells us about things that happened ‘yesterday’, but she also knows that Colorado is VERY FAR AWAY from where we used to live. I wish I knew what was in her awesome Toddler Brain.

Babystar chose a pack of Trolls (of course) Valentines from Target ($2.50) and she made her Valentines. And then we mailed them to her friends ($6.86), some of whom are babies and will not even understand the whole postal system thing. But hopefully they will still like looking at the cute Trolls on the Valentines.

Best of all, she made Valentines for all of us too. I helped write the names, so I got a sneak preview, but they have been in her microwave waiting for Valentine’s Day. OMG THE CUTEST.

Trolls valentines

Um, can someone tell me the best way to get crayon off a table top? I’m tired of scrubbing.

RAISNG BABYSTAR: $26,101.93

 

Some Fun is Free.

We are en route to our new home in Boulder, CO.

Winter Storm Inga has other plans.

Apparently, Inga is all about family values, because she stranded me, Babystar, and Princess Buttercup at my brother’s house in North Carolina.

Ok. Fine. There are worse places to be. Plus my brother and his almostwife are pretty cool and I rarely see them.

Babystar got to go play in eight inch snow while I mostly watched from the windows. If she didn’t love her uncle already (and she did), she totally would love him now.

snowday1

snowday2

snowday3

RAISING BABYSTAR: $25,899.56

Blankets on Blankets on Blankets.

I have been packing and packing and packing but apparently I totally love it because I went to Costco and brought home more stuff to pack.

One of those things was the BEST BLANKET EVER and Babystar fell in love with my new blanket. I love that kid, but she cannot have my blanket. Neither can Blanket Fan Princess Buttercup. So I went back and bought two more blankets. ($11.99 each; one was for Babystar.)

And I spent $19.99 on some crap.

Hear me out: I had to pee. Babystar is impatient. She is also obsessed with the Trolls. I sent Princess Buttercup and Babystar on a mission to ‘find some Trolls’ because I knew they could not actually find any trolls because TROLLS DO NOT EXIST. We decided to meet up at the books only because we all know where the books are and Costco rarely moves them.

She found the damn trolls.

Y’all. I checked. This was literally the only one of these. Someone probably bought it from a different Costco and returned it to this one. So yeah, I bought the Trolls. We decided that it would be a special ‘driving to Colorado’ toy so it is still in the box. She loves that box. She just plays with the box. As Princess Buttercup noted, we could have just printed out a picture of the trolls. Fml. I’m a sucker.

OMG YOU GUYS WE ARE LEAVING SO SOOOOOOOON!!

RAISING BABYSTAR: $25,812.91