Tag: toddler life

The Long Long List.

Published on by Darlene DeeLeave a comment

Santa’s not the only one with a list that goes on forever.

Sometimes I wonder why I am keeping track of every penny we spend raising Babystar.

That number at the bottom is mildly soul-crushing.

And then I think how satisfying it’s going to be to show her when she is nine and doesn’t clean her room. Or when she is sixteen and scratches my car. Or when she is forty and picking out nursing homes.

Mostly that last bit.

But keeping all of these notes is tedious and sometimes a bit boring. Not everything deserves it’s own post.

I bought a new outfit for Kelsey, which is Babystar’s favorite baby doll (these days). Kelsey is the cheap Honestly Cute brand baby doll from Target. (Babystar ignores her pricey American Girl Bitty Baby. It’s kind of hilarious.) I have no idea where Babystar heard the name Kelsey, but she named her all by herself. We don’t even know anyone named Kelsey. The $9.99 outfit was definitely a bribe, but I don’t remember for what exactly. Life, probably.

I bought a hat and mittens set for $7.99 because I couldn’t find any of Babystar’s hats. I later found three hundred hats in the closet.

I bought four sets of mittens for fifty cents each, hoping to have at least two mittens in the house at all times. I am not hopeful.

I have bought four really cool packets of on-the-go fun. They are little coloring books with a few crayons and stickers. You can find them for $1 each at Target or Micheal’s. We have already used the Rudolph one and the My Little Pony. I still have dinosaurs and Trolls in case of emergency. I really need to create my own busy bags. Maybe that will by my New Year’s Resolution. It’s nice and attainable.

Oh, and I spent $3.60 more on sticker packs. Usually as baby-be-good-bribes.

I broke my car-screen cherry with this kid and paid $3.99 to rent Trolls Holiday on my iPad last week for Babystar to watch in the car while we ran four hundred errands. Bonus: I now know all the words to Trolls Holiday.

Just kidding. I already knew all the words.

We paid $17.99 to buy Blue’s Clues Season 3 because we were tired of streaming the free Season 1. And Season 3 has the holiday episode. And Babystar we both love Blue’s Clues.

We had a HUUUUUGE blowout while spontaneously out with friends a while back but luckily we were literally next door to a kid’s consignment shop. Like, the only one in my area. I bought her an adorable Marimekko outfit for $16.95 that is still too big but we rolled the pants up. I also paid $17.50 for used shiny gold shoes because I was a little stressed out and she wanted them even though she didn’t actually poop on her shoes. Thank goddess.

And we have two Advent Calendars for her this year. She loves her $2.59 ‘Snowman Chocolate’ (there is a picture of a snowman on the front) and remembers it every day and she is getting REALLY GOOD at finding and recognizing the numbers so I think we need these babies year round. I also got her a puzzle advent calendar ($4.95) that is less popular but she still likes it. After she gets her ‘snowman chocolate’ and cons at least one of her older siblings out of their ‘snowman chocolate’. Suckers.

We have a really cute snow globe ornament that has never made it on to the tree because  Babystar NEEDED it in Nordstrom Rack and then totally forgot about it. I just found it in the bottom of a bag the other day. Oh well. It’s pretty. And $3.97 is a fair deal for twenty minutes of Toddler Patience.

We also have a vintage Apple Dumplin’ doll. You know, Strawberry Shortcake’s little sister. She already has been separated from her socks and her turtle but they are around somewhere. Vintage toys on eBay combined wth one-touch PayPal and insomnia get me EVERY TIME. This one was $16.95. Plus I totally have Strawberry Shortcake and some of her friends wrapped under the Christmas tree, but Target wasn’t selling the retro Apple Dumplin’ doll. And Babystar loves Apple Dumplin’ thanks to her big sister showing her a few youtube videos.

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But Babystar calls her Apple Donut. Because what the hell is a dumpling? I love it.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $24,781.46

 

 

 

 

 

Dragging Her Feet.

Published on by Darlene DeeLeave a comment

Literally. Babystar was dragging her too big 2T fleece pajama feet around the house and down the slide (yes, the slide in my living room and I can’t even). She looooves her dinosaur pajamas and it’s very cold these days but she haaaaaates when the feet drag so I was spending entire evening fixing her little footies.

You know where this is going: I bought some new pajamas. Help. Help. Someone please ban me from Carter’s and Target. But not really because Target is my bae.

Also, she needed onesies because she spends a lot of the weekend on outings with her dad (YAY FOR MOMMY TIME WHICH I MOSTLY SPEND CLEANING TBH), and he usually puts her in disposable diapers since the church nursery requires them anyway (I AM PRETTY SURE BABY JESUS WORE CLOTH) but Babystar likes to put her hand down the disposable diapers so onesies are a must. We only had two in her size so I added a three pack of short sleeves and a three pack of long sleeves. Dude. Whatever it takes to get some time to myself.

Does anyone else have a baby/toddler/small thing that will shove hands down disposable diapers but not so much in cloth? I don’t get it. Maybe it’s the elastic at the top of the cloth? The same thing preventing the blow outs is preventing the spelunking? Maybe? Thoughts?

Maybe her butt just itches. Oh, I’m sorry. Her bootie.

Anyway, here’s the goods. Minus one pair of dinosaur fleece pajamas that I wrapped up to put under the Christmas tree as her Something to Wear. And minus another pair of penguin fleece pajamas that she wore last night (BEFORE I WASHED THEM BAD MOTHER ALERT). And minus a onesie that she is wearing right now.

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I bought the onesies in 24 months but the fleecies in 18 months because she has ONE pair of fleece pajamas that fit her perfectly and they are Carter’s size 18 months (hand-me-downs) so hopefully they will not shrink.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,845.89

Toddlers Be Like.

Published on by Darlene DeeLeave a comment

Toddlers be like, Oh Hey Ma, you just cleaned the kitchen. I’ll fix it while you take 43 seconds to pee and speed wash your hands nbd.

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Cool, now please make me an egg. (With the sign language please and everything so I just die and do it and clean it all over again someone help I think I have Stockholm Syndrome.)

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,235.18

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Star Dresses and String Cheese.

Published on by Darlene Dee3 Comments

Babystar hates dresses. Last Sunday, she looked SO CUTE for her dedication at church but the behind-the-scenes was hilarious. Luckily we put on the leggings first (it was cold) because once we put this super cute dress on her body she was like WHAT.IS.THIS.CRAP.

(Usually she wears non-fancy clothes and plays in the nursery when she goes to church with her dad while I stay home in bed like a proper heathen tired mama who needs her break.)

So Babystar is all like WHAT is with all of this fabric and WHY is there fluffy stuff on my shoulders and I HATE IT.

But then the Genius Teenager came into Babystar’s bedroom in a dress and pointed out that SHE was wearing a dress and MAMA was wearing a dress and BABYSTAR was wearing a dress. Then she scooped that baby up and dragged us both to her full length mirror to show us that BABYSTAR had stars on her dress and it was SO PRETTY and Mama had stars on her dress and we were all SO PRETTY. Babystar got on board after that. The Teenager is a rock star.

And all morning the tiny one pointed at her silver stars saying ‘tar? ‘tar? ‘tar? I guess she didn’t notice the giant stars on her knees.

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The leggings and dress were from Gymboree (40% off but that store is forever having a sale) for $37.46. And the leggings are really just thick knitted pants so I suspect we will wear them all winter. And look, now I already bought her Christmas dress. (If it still fits.)

Plus some boring stuff: diapers and wipes and October’s baby food. (This is food that I buy especially for her. I share some of it, like mostly the eggs but other stuff too and she shares my food but mostly spoonfuls of veggies or a few bites of fish or things that I would have bought and eaten anyway, if she didn’t. I think it works out, for now.)

  • Whole Foods brand disposable diapers $11.99
  • Costco wipes $19.99
  • Sbarro slice of pepperoni pizza $2.49
  • 4 zucchini $2.87
  • 2 cans diced tomatoes $1.68
  • pre-cut pears in juice $1.99
  • pack of six pears $2.99
  • peaches in jar $2.69
  • peaches au natural $1.42
  • chia seed waffles x2 $7.98
  • eggs x2 $8.98
  • Gerber veggie melts x2 $5.98
  • bananas x20$3.80
  • Trader Joe’s crispy peas $5.48
  • graham crackers $2.49
  • smoked turkey $5.23
  • cheese sticks $5.99
  • animal crackers from Target $1.08
  • party food for MOMS Halloween potluck $32.97

 

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,140.35


 

Hell is Costuming a Toddler.

Published on by Darlene Dee9 Comments

I hereby announce my candidacy for President and this is my entire platform: I am calling for a ban on toddler Halloween costumes. Make Halloween Sane Again.

I totally planned ahead and everything. Over a week ago, I went to PartyCity and Partyland and Partyville and PartyHell and all of the Partys to find a Lion costume for Babystar.

(Do you know what is fun? Shopping in a crowded costume shop with an overstimulated, curious toddler racing down the aisles. Four stars.)

I could not find a single one in her size. I found a small lion costume and a big lion costume but not a Babystar-sized lion costume. I DID, however, buy some pieces to complete our genius family costume of ‘Lion, Tiger, and Bear, Oh My’. The Teenager was to be a tiger, and I found a tiger head hat, paws, and tail set for her. I was to be a bear. I could only find a panda bear mask but ok. I have black and white clothes. And we planned to make Husband a shirt that said ‘OH MY’. (My  brother said he should just dress like George Takei because my brother is hilarious but no one has time for all that.)

I also bought a lion mask because Babystar loved it (and in fact still loves it). She brings us all the mask and when we put it on, we have a little growl party. I spent $65.58 at the Party Store on tiger and panda pieces. And I can return none of it.*

And then I went home and ordered a lion costume from Amazon for $22.60, sized 12-18 months. Boom. Thanks, Amazon Prime.

Friday was my MOMS group Halloween party. It was only me and Babystar so I thought we would both just go as lions. I could wear the superfun mask and we could growl and laugh and growl and laugh and it would be fantastic. Nope. I couldn’t find the mask anywhere. Who knows where that ToddlerMonster hid it? But it didn’t even matter because she WOULD NOT wear her lion costume at all for anything no way fuck you.

Ok, fine. No problem, Babystar. I get it. You don’t want that big adorable mane on your head. I changed into my Batman t-shirt and found the Robin costume from the Superhero 5K last spring and it looked like it would still fit. It would have totally fit, except no way mom this polyester shit sucks and you can keep your stupid cape and I AM NOT WEARING THIS NOOOOOOOOOO.

Crap. The party was in three hours.

I noticed that Babystar was wearing her monster pajamas during all of this Costume Torture. And I saw one of her new monster slippers that she LOVED (post forthcoming). Mama had an idea. Mama is smart.

I looked for the other slipper for forty-five solid minutes. I texted the Teenager at school and the Husband at work. I emptied every ottoman and looked under all the furniture. I even had Babystar in on the game. Nope.

So I changed the baby into regular boring clothes and we went ‘bye-bye’ with two hours until party time.

My first stop was Carter’s and I hurriedly bought three options. I bought a pair of cotton pajamas with a skeleton on them and a pair of fleece pajamas with a monster face on them and a butterfly costume that I didn’t think she would wear but at least looked cute and comfortable. Everything was clearance, so I spent $28.39 on all three. One of these would work for the party, right?

(Are you keeping count? We are now at FIVE costumes options.)

But now what to do for the family thing on Saturday afternoon? And actual Halloween night? Off to Target we went.

I bought two adult sized cat onesies. (The Teenager already had one from two years ago that she wore to school on Halloween.) And they were miraculously all three different! I then found a fluffy kitty jacket in 2T that Babystar liked and actually put on in the store! Miracle! Plus she could wear it all year — it wasn’t a costume. That is the trick! (Or is it the treat?!) I bought her a pair of black leggings and BOOM. $64.48 later and we were a Family of Cats. A Pounce of Cats. A Nuisance of Cats.

So on Friday afternoon, she wore the skeleton pajamas to the MOMS Club party. I have no pictures because all she did was crawl up and down the stairs so we had to leave early. Of course.

On Saturday afternoon, we went ‘trick or treating’ at the Village of Shirlington near our house. She wore the black leggings with a black t-shirt (her 9:30 Club shirt turned inside out) and since it was actually quite surprisingly warm, she wore an adorable black furry vest with cat ears that was a hand-me-down from her cousin that I just found that morning on a shelf in her closet and ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

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She shared our pizza lunch after Trick or Treating on Saturday but I did buy her a Halloween balloon for $3.24 and it is her favorite thing in the world.img_1925-1

Tonight it will probably be chillier after dark so she will wear the same thing except with the long sleeve kitty jacket from Target.

Six costumes. SIX. Lion, Robin, skeleton, monster, butterfly, and kitty.

I fully intend to return the fleece pajamas and butterfly costume to Carter’s but I intend a lot of things. I tried to GIVE AWAY the lion costume and the Robin costume by posting on Facebook a few times since Friday’s costume meltdown fun new information about Babystar, but so far I’ve had no takers. Is everyone really so much more on top of this than me? Ugh. Probably.

Happy Halloween! Meow.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $12,974.80

*I returned some of the lion and panda things to PartyHell but of course I could only get store credit. The Teenager and I picked some family friendly (boring smiley) Halloween decorations and we got a tail for our smallest kitty. Maybe she will even wear it tonight!