Santa, Interrupted.

Oh, the Holidays. The time of year when we try our hardest not to offend those we love and cherish. Or something like that.

Because we are moving soon (OMFG I NEED TO PACK), we took the ToddlerMonster to visit one set of grandparents in Myrtle Beach. The Teens* were in Florida with their dad and we all met back home after Christmas.

*The boy Teen just turned twenty-one and has not been a teenager for a few years but I have no other name for the two of them.Β The Teens is just so short and easy. I am open to suggestion, as they don’t care for the alternatives I have proposed: The Freeloaders, The Children of the Last Millennium (abbreviated COLT), or the Starter Kids.

SO ANYWAY.

Babystar is and was and remains all about Santa this year. And THE TEENS wanted to watch her experience SantaMagic and open her other gifts because they love her and they are brats. So we waited.

We told Babystar that Santa took her gift to her house. When we were just about to leave for Myrtle Beach last week, I ran back inside to hang the stockings. And I left instructions for THE TEENS to build the trains set ‘from Santa’. The shenanigans were only 99.9999% stressful and annoying.

But worth it. Ugh. Loving your kids is SO OVERRATED.

(Presents do not equal love. This whole delaying Christmas so all three of my favorite children could be happy and get what they wanted DOES equal love.)

But. Um. Y’all. I feel like I must Confess.

Babystar had WAY TOO MANY presents to open last night. And I didn’t even realize that it had happened.

Christmas shopping was done from about September to November. Sometimes via Amazon in the middle of the night. (When those packages arrived, I put them straight into a closet without opening them. So I guess I may have forgotten about them.) Often the Girl Teen was at Target with me, and she is a huge Babystar enabler. It is just so much FUN to choose toys for little kids. And so the Target bags would go in one closet or another and I guess I sort of forgot about them.

We even wrapped all of these gifts in November. The Teen and I had a wrapping party and we had music and snacks and it was fun and I was sad when it was over so I didn’t realize that I had purchased an entire toy store for the two year old.

It’s actually quite lucky that we are moving to a big farmhouse with no friends because she will have plenty of toys to play with and plenty of room to keep them and plenty of time to play with them. But soon I have to pack them. Ugh.

Santa brought her the train set that she wanted. Of course it was made by elves, but I think their summer job is at Ikea. Ikea would have charged $57.96 for all of the pieces that Santa’s elves made. And some are still in the closet. Santa went overboard.

Her Christmas stocking was full of chocolate coins* ($1.99), three packs of pink Play-doh ($0.77 x 3), a Rudolph board book ($1), a pack of M&Ms ($1.29), a Princess Poppy expandable washcloth from the Target dollar aisle which she already used last night ($1), ten adorable ‘monsters’ from Ikea** ($7.40), and a tiny baby doll*** ($3.59).

*Did you see those awesome Coins from Around the World for $1.99/bundle at Trader Joe’s this year??

**Ikea chooses ten kid’s drawings each year and turns them into stuffed animals with two sizes each and all proceeds go to charity and it is the cutest thing.

***Her Toddler BFF has this little baby from Target and Babystar loooooves it. Her BFF calls her ‘Baby Lucy’ so this one is naturally ‘Baby Lucy’.

And then there were a million more gifts wrapped under the tree.

  • Melissa and Doug felt food Sandwich Set
  • Melissa and Doug Scoop and Stack Ice Cream Cone Magnetic Play Set $21.20
  • Melissa and Doug Birthday Party Cake $14.97
  • Felt donuts from the Target ‘dollar aisle’ $3
  • Wooden breakfast food from the Target ‘dollar aisle’ $3
  • Strawberry Shortcake doll $9.99
  • Angel Cake doll $9.99
  • Blueberry Muffin doll $9.99
  • Orange Blossom doll $9.99
  • vintage Huckleberry Pie doll from eBay $9.95

I tucked Huck in with Angel Cake because she was the only one without a giant hat.

  • Terra Prehistoric World Playset (basically an awesome giant bin of dinosaurs) $15.99
  • CAT mini machines (“just like at nook!”) 5-pack $4.69

CAT trucks at nook

  • Hotwheels car launcher (meant to go with a track but Babystar just likes to zoom her cars) $9.97
  • Moana pajamas $17.97
  • Usborne books: Ludwig the Space Dog (it’s 3D!) and My First Book About Me (to help with naming feelings) $28.24
  • Three adorable winter hats with animal ears ($3, $3, $3)
  • Lacing toy for building fine motor skills $3
  • Honestly Cute Potty Training set (a baby doll with a flushing potty that she already adores and is currently peeing on my table and I hope will get Babystar excited about using the potty herself) $20.69
  • Play-doh Florist Shop $9.99
  • (We also bought an 18-pack of Play-doh but didn’t give it to her. We have been doling it out as she smooshes her Play-doh colors together.) $15.49

I did luckily get most of these things on sale. But dude. Yeah. It’s a bit much. I know, I know. I have no idea how this happened?

Parents: Got any advice for reigning it in with the gifts? I didn’t THINK I was an Over-Do-It Mama but apparently I am one. Bummer.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $25,036.15

Santa Baby.

December 7, 2017. Yesterday. AKA the day I met the REAL Santa Claus.

YOU GUYS, OMG!

Babystar is mildly obsessed with Santa this year. She loves his beard (just like Granddaddy, she says) and his reindeer and mostly his laugh. “Ho, ho, ho.”

She also knows that he will bring her a present. (I don’t get in to that wholeΒ if you’re good thing. Yet.)

Today we decided to go visit Santa at the nearest mall, which happens to be Pentagon City mall. The Teenager and I also booked free Aveda mini-facials because I really thought that Babystar would be all HELL NO when it was time to meet Santa.

I was incorrect.

Before we left, she wanted to find a present to bring him. At first, she wanted to bring him a strawberry smoothie. (Not even his own. She just wanted to share one with him.) The Teenager finished the smoothie (thank you darling daughter) so she had to find something else. On Wednesday, we made tons of salt dough ornaments, so she wanted to bring Santa some ‘decorations.’ She decided on a ‘heart’ and a ‘guy’ aka gingerbread man shape.

Y’all. I had no idea she was this fucking sweet. (Or this genius? Either her toddler heart is full of kindness or she’s stacking the Nice List in her favor.)

I mean, I knew she was sweet, but Bring-A-Gift-TO-Santa sweet? Amazing. #blessed

We went to see Santa and she gave him the ‘decorations’ and he asked her to help him put them on his Christmas tree.

santa with tree

She said she DID NOT WANT to go anywhere near his chair, and Santa was fine with it. He talked to her by the tree, and thanked her for the gift, and gave her a sticker in return. When she left, she said, “I love you, Santa.” And she wouldn’t put the sticker anywhere. She had to save it since “Santa gave it to me.” It is still unstuck, and I think we have to keep it for eternity.

Y’all. IT WAS A STICKER. All stickers immediately go SOMEWHERE. Not this one.

Please note: this wonderful man who is clearly the REAL Santa Claus hung out with Babystar even though she was NOT going anywhere near the picture bench. And the lovely photo people there let me take a few cell phone shots of them together since the mall camera didn’t turn that way.

Pentagon City Mall, you did it. You found him. Well done. If you are in the DC Metro Area, the real Santa is at Pentagon City. Shhhh. It’s a secret.

We left Santa Claus. The big girls got our facials. We all had some lunch. On the way out, Babystar decided to go say hi to Santa again. There was no line so I figured it was fine.

Her ornaments were still on the tree.

ornament on tree

Santa showed her the ornaments, and then Babystar and Santa started chanting ‘HO HO HO’ to one another.

ho ho ho

Babystar decided that she wanted to sit with Santa but not ON HIS LAP. (Obviously that was ok. We are all about consent.) Babystar wanted her sister with her, but she was really excited to be on SANTA’S CHAIR!

So. Yeah. I dropped fifty bucks ($52.98) on the cutest Santa picture ever. The package was $29.99 and the frame (yep) was $19.99. And now this pic (both of the girls!) is part of our official Christmas decorations. Right next to my firstborn at only nine days old on Santa’s lap in 1996.

santa pics

Oh, you see that Santa hat she’s wearing? It is not a prop from the mall. Babystar BROUGHT IT with her so she could ‘match with Santa’.

Call 911. I’m dead.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $24,423.71