parenting hacks – BabyCostsMoney

How to have a tantrum-free shopping trip for the price of a cup of coffee.

Published on July 5, 2018July 6, 2018 by Darlene Dee6 Comments

Sometimes I need a five dollar coffee drink to get through the day.

Sometimes I need a fifty dollar pedicure to get through the week.

And sometimes I need a ten thousand dollar Mediterranean Cruise if I am going to resist the urge to flee alone to the mountains and live off the land. Alone. By myself.

(I never do get that last one.)

Toddlers are people, too.

You know how summer days seemed so loooong when you were a kid but now they zoom by before you can get everything done? Even if ‘everything’ is just pack a bag and go to the park and come home and make a relatively healthy dinner?

Time is funny like that.

I imagine that a forty-five minute trip to Target must feel to a toddler like waiting at the DMV for an entire afternoon feels to me. Like hellacious hell.

Enter the Patient Prize.

I have mentioned the Patient Prize before. I didn’t invent the concept but I have WHOLLY embraced it. I have been looking to rebrand Bribery for quite some time now.

Whenever I bring Babystar into a potential meltdown situation — usually a trip to Target but not always — she is allowed one Patient Prize. (Babystar named it her Patient Prize, which is more accurate than Patient Present tbh because really we are all winners.)

How to Patient Prize:

Let the Toddlermonster pick the Patient Prize first. At Target, I suggest you stop in the Dollar Aisles conveniently located near the entrance. This will save you money by avoiding the toy aisles while still preserving the illusion of choice.*
Let the Toddlermonster HOLD the toy/hat/apple/whatever in the shopping cart. It then becomes a tangible reminder of the toddlermonster’s choice EVERY SINGLE SECOND whether he or she wants to keep the Patient Prize or act a fool.
When the Toddlermonster inevitably wants to get out of the cart to run away, or screams because he or she is bored and wants to leave RIGHT NOW, you look them in the eyes and say, ‘Ok. But first we have to go put back the Patient Prize.’
Usually, the Toddlermonster will chill. Not always, but most of the time. If the Toddlermonster does not chill, you have to put the Patient Prize back and deal with the outcome. You may decide to leave the establishment. You may decide to rush through the checkout line with what you already have. And you may decide to finish shopping while holding a loud floppy Toddlermonster (peace be with you). You do you.

AND YOU GUYS THERE IS AN UNINTENTIONAL BENEFIT! Since Babystar knows she gets to choose ONE thing, she doesn’t ask for EVERY thing. I hope it works out that way for you, too!

Stickers .30, $1, $1
Bouncy ball $2.99, $2.88, $2.99
Troll bandaids $1, $1
Light up bunny thingy $1
Trolls $4.99, $4.99, $4.99, $0.89, $0.89, $2.99, $2.99, $14.99, $4.99, $2.99, $2.99
Plastic dinosaur with googly pop-out eyes $1
Felt ice cream cones $3
Weird juice box lady $2.99
Bubbles $1, $1
Gardening toys $3
Wooden birdhouse to paint $3 (plus one for Princess Buttercup too $3)
Coloring books $1, $1, $1

RAISING BABYSTAR: $28,868.20

*Unfortunately, Babystar knows that the Trolls are in the toy aisles, so she often insists we go there. Fine. Whatever. I have since made a new rule that she cannot get duplicate Trolls and she has them all so we always ‘just go check’ if there are new ones. Her dad doesn’t have the same deal so she still brings home Trolls quite often.

Monday’s Mama is Flossy Flossy.

Published on January 29, 2018 by Darlene DeeLeave a comment

Please meet Flossie, the awesome flossy flossy mama blogger behind Super Mom Hacks.

Omg she just might virtually murder me for that title but I CAN’T HELP IT. I tried to think of another title but all I can hear is Fergie. (Flossy = super amazing.)

And Flossie IS super amazing. She was a teacher before becoming mama to Kimmie (age 8) and Essie (almost 6). Flossie is a country girl who married a city boy, and she and her family now live in Suburbia, U.S.A. She enjoys bicycling, cooking, crocheting, volunteering, and chauffeuring her darlings to Scouts or swim lessons or church choir. Flossie shares all her parenting tips, tricks, and hacks to save busy parents time, money, and sanity at supermomhacks.com. Her blog is full of really useful information. You will find simple recipes, easy home DIY that a regular person can actually pull off, and lists of vacation tips, cleaning tips, and organizing tips. She even has a post about getting melted crayon out of laundry.

And just in case you wonder ‘what if’ or maybe you are super into schadenfreude, Flossie also tells you all of the ways she tried that DID NOT work. It is refreshing to know that even Super Moms sometimes take two or three or fifteen tries to get something right.

Flossie is so good at work-arounds that she has figured out a way to show us a picture of her and her kids without actually showing a picture of her kids. Behold her genius.

Flossie rocks so hard, and she was nice enough to answer a few of my questions.

1. Your blog is SO FULL of helpful information. How do you know everything? Are you a genius? Why aren’t you President?

Sure, I’m a genius lol. No, seriously, I’m actually pretty dense sometimes – but I like to problem-solve, so I find myself thinking “There’s GOT to be a better way!” Whenever I stumble across something that makes my parenting existence easier – whether it’s a recipe hack, a super-useful product, or a better way to do something – then it’s going to be posted on the blog, sooner or later. I actually started my blog when a friend of mine who was always running her parenting questions by me, told me, “you should start a parenting blog with this stuff.” So I did. I was a teacher until Kimmie was born, so it’s fun to get up on my soapbox and tell everyone how NOT to make the same mistakes I’ve made. (And unlike teaching, there’s no essays to grade – yay!)

And hey, what the heck, any native-born citizen can be President, right? I briefly considered being President when I was little; one day I learned at school that the president’s salary was $200K, and that sounded close to millionaire-dom to my seven-year-old-self. But then I decided it would be too much work.

2. Do you have any Super Mom Hacks about unpacking? Asking for a friend.

Haha, unpacking after a move. Yeah, I last moved almost a decade ago, and I *still* have a few boxes that I haven’t touched since packing them up! My favorite hack is to pile them all up together until you either A) need something in them or B) get sick of the pile sitting there. Once you get through all the A boxes, someday you’ll get to the Bs and when you open each B box, you’ll be like, “no wonder I lived without all this stuff for so long!” It’s remarkably easy to let go of the contents at that point. (The ideal hack, of course, is to get rid of as much of your $#!+ as you can BEFORE you move, so there’s less to unpack. Or so I’m told – can’t say I’ve ever truly pulled that one off.)

3. What is your most top secret, nobody else knows, super awesome mom hack? We won’t tell anyone. 🙂

I’m afraid you’re too late, because I’m not very good at keeping ANY hack secret (hence my blog). Probably my all-time FAVORITE parenting hack, for which my dear husband gets credit, is the Mommy Potty. It was the only way to get out of the house with my children for the 3 or so years I had a kiddo working on toilet training.

(Darlene here interrupting: OMG go read the Mommy Potty Hack. Brilliant! I would have never thought of that!!!!)

4. It’s the PTA Bakesale: homemade, store bought, or NOPE?

Definitely homemade – seriously, when do I have time to go to the store? BUT you have to give me at least a month’s notice. Three to six months is better. That way I can bake it ahead (preferably with the girls’ help – something to occupy them on a Sunday afternoon, double-win) and stick it in the freezer. I probably have some double-chocolate zucchini bread hiding in my freezer that’s almost as old as Essie.

You need Flossie’s wisdom in your life. Really. Definitely check out Super Mom Hacks. And follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. Help HER help YOU. Really, dude. Trust me.

Monday’s Mama is HASHTAG GOALS.

Published on October 16, 2017October 15, 2017 by Darlene Dee6 Comments

Katherine blogs at Welcome to the Nursery and she is every woman. Well, she is every woman who has an engineering background but now stays home to care for two hilarious energetic small children. So, maybe she is you, but she is a hell of a lot more awesome than me.

Katherine is the mom who runs the Puff (1.5yo) and Squish (4yo) nursery. She hung up her engineering hat four years ago to start the mom gig; it turns out her skills of tank driving and bullet design didn’t transfer well to child care, but at least with parenthood you can learn on the job (right?!). Katherine shares her amusements and frustrations along this journey. When the kids are asleep, she nurses a fledgling writing career, obsessively reads English historical fiction, and dabbles in painting and sewing.

Welcome to the Nursery is full of funny yet thoughtful things her incredibly astute four-yer-old says and some really genius parenting ideas. Katherine is a superwoman, super mom, and probably super fun to hang out with on a mom’s night out. Like, for real, she has so many ideas and they are all so good. How does she have so many good ideas?! When does she sleep?? When does she THINK!? I want to be like Katherine when I grow up.

Katherine answered a few questions and showed that she is COOLER THAN I EVEN KNEW. I mean, Guns N’ Roses? Come on.

1. What is your most favorite grown-up book? Kid’s book?

My blog readers probably know by now that I A) LOVE to read, and B) absolutely adore Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. There are many series I love (by Ted Bell, Daniel Silva, Conn Iggulden, Vince Flynn), but as a standalone book you really can’t top P&P. My favorite kid’s book was Roald Dahl’s The BFG.
2. Where did your girl’s nicknames ‘Puff’ and ‘Squish’ originate? Are there stories behind those names? Speaking of names, is your blog name a wink to ‘Welcome to the Dollhouse’ or not? I’ve been wondering.

I think my husband came up with both of them, actually. My 4yo’s full nickname is “Squisher Pants,” because as a baby she was such a squishy thing to hug and cuddle. Adding “Pants” to the end of any nickname – or even a full name – is just silly and fun. We sometimes call our 18mo “Puffer Pants,” although mostly it’s just “Puff” or “Puff-Puff.” She is – you guessed it – so puffy! She’s not a really chubby baby, but she’s just so soft! She also likes to “puff” her stuffed animals. It’s so freaking adorable….

As for the blog name, I actually named it after the Guns N’ Roses song “Welcome to the Jungle.” Squish was a few months old, and I could already tell that our house was destined to become a madhouse – and I pictured a wild, loud, messy place … the “jungle” with that song blaring in the background. P.S. I have no idea what the lyrics are actually about!

3. It’s the PTA Bakesale: homemade, store bought, or NOPE?

Oh, homemade for sure! I have a decent reputation for baking yummy things – from homemade soft pretzels to Italian seven-layer rainbow cookies. My mom passed down those handy skills … thanks, ma!

Katherine is basically Pinterest personified. You should bookmark her blog and follow her on Twitter.