Ok, so I took Babystar to the Women’s March in D.C. SHE FREAKING LOVED IT. She loves being outside and watching other people and being sosososoclose to mama and the March had all of these things. She loved chanting and clapping. And she loved holding her tiny sign (made by the Teenager) up high with everyone else.
Babystar was in the Tula for TEN HOURS STRAIGHT. I only took her out for bathroom/diaper breaks three times in that ten hours. Negligent? Perhaps. But there were like over half a million people there and bathroom breaks were really difficult. She loved it. Now I want a mama-sized Tula because it is clearly the most comfy place ever. And y’all? My feet hurt like whoa the next day and my legs are still a little sore but my back? Nada. Fine. Babystar is twenty-five pounds and change. And Tulas are clearly magic.
Anyway. Her tiny sign didn’t cost us anything extra. We had already bought an eight-pack of poster board and we still have one left over. We already bought the markers. We DID have to buy a clear backpack for the baby. We went ahead and bought three since we were buying one already and most of the cost was in the expedited shipping. (Nothing was available on Amazon Prime. I found cheap clear backpacks on Walmart’s website, of all places.)
In retrospect, we probably didn’t need to buy them. No one was stopping and frisking.
And we would have simply used small purses for our phones and money and regular cheap drawstring ‘backpack’ bags for our water and snacks. But I could not risk having a non-clear backpack full of diapers and wipes and her cup and snacks and extra clothes confiscated. So that $36.09 goes in Babystar’s column.
RAISING BABYSTAR: $14,400.46
Literally. Babystar was dragging her too big 2T fleece pajama feet around the house and down the slide (yes, the slide in my living room and I can’t even). She looooves her dinosaur pajamas and it’s very cold these days but she haaaaaates when the feet drag so I was spending entire evening fixing her little footies.
You know where this is going: I bought some new pajamas. Help. Help. Someone please ban me from Carter’s and Target. But not really because Target is my bae.
Also, she needed onesies because she spends a lot of the weekend on outings with her dad (YAY FOR MOMMY TIME WHICH I MOSTLY SPEND CLEANING TBH), and he usually puts her in disposable diapers since the church nursery requires them anyway (I AM PRETTY SURE BABY JESUS WORE CLOTH) but Babystar likes to put her hand down the disposable diapers so onesies are a must. We only had two in her size so I added a three pack of short sleeves and a three pack of long sleeves. Dude. Whatever it takes to get some time to myself.
Does anyone else have a baby/toddler/small thing that will shove hands down disposable diapers but not so much in cloth? I don’t get it. Maybe it’s the elastic at the top of the cloth? The same thing preventing the blow outs is preventing the spelunking? Maybe? Thoughts?
Maybe her butt just itches. Oh, I’m sorry. Her bootie.
Anyway, here’s the goods. Minus one pair of dinosaur fleece pajamas that I wrapped up to put under the Christmas tree as her Something to Wear. And minus another pair of penguin fleece pajamas that she wore last night (BEFORE I WASHED THEM BAD MOTHER ALERT). And minus a onesie that she is wearing right now.
I bought the onesies in 24 months but the fleecies in 18 months because she has ONE pair of fleece pajamas that fit her perfectly and they are Carter’s size 18 months (hand-me-downs) so hopefully they will not shrink.
RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,845.89
Last weekend, my husband and I went on a date. By ourselves. It was awesome. You see that picture up there? Damn, we look so tired. We needed it.
I see lots of parents on social media going out without their babies so I think I have a PARTICULARLY clingy little monster because she can only be left for a little while and not very often and only with her sister so I’m thinking I have to ban the Teenager from going to college, right? Just kidding. I’ll just send Babystar to college with her sister.
Anyway. If you have ideas, please help. My MIL told me that my darling husband was the same way. She had to quit her job because he cried at daycare all day long and got kicked out. Like a BRAT. So I do not wonder where she gets this from but DUDE HAVE SOME CHILL.
We went to dinner and then to see the Kacey Musgraves Christmas show. It was lovely. Both the show and the moving about freely without a tiny shadow. I PEED BY MYSELF MORE THAN ONCE.
We pay the Teenager for babysitting even though we also pay for her food and shelter. And shampoo and stuff. Her babysitting time is in high demand. Plus, I was the oldest growing up and very much resented the forced babysitting gigs. (Anyone else?) Did you know the going rate for babysitting around here is $10/hour?! (It really is — I checked.) I’m thinking I should totally start babysitting.
We also bought them pizza. Yes, them. My oldest is in town! But I still only paid $10/hour + pizza. I let them work out the details. Problem solving is an important life skill.
According to several Snapchats I received, Babystra played for a bit and then slept on her sister all night. Until fifteen minutes before we got home, apparently. She greeted me at the door at 11pm crying for MAMAMAAMMA.
RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,671.78
Mommy’s all right. Daddy’s all right. They just seem a little weird.
A little? Ok, sure. Whatever. The point is, I SURRENDER.
It is now November 18. We are officially deep into the second half of the month. My big plans for A Blog Post A Day did not work out. No #NaBloPoMo success for me. But that’s ok. The big winner is YOU. Because it turns out, I don’t always have anything interesting to say. Like right now, for example.
My new November hashtag is #NahDoNoMo. Nah, I’m not going to Do it No More.
RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,266.46
Like pretty much every ToddlerMonster on the planet, Babystar loooooves fruit.
Autumn is tricky, though, because apples are in season. And apples want to choke my baby so very badly.
(Yes, I know about pears. I love pears. Babystar loves pears. But they are sosososososo SO SO messy. They are delicious and sticky and drippy and apparently VERY FUN to squish in a tiny fist before licking off of a tiny hand. So I’ve heard. We eat pears just before bath time. Or if we don’t have anywhere to be for a few hours. We rarely eat pears for breakfast because the clean up time is ridiculous.)
I also know that this is 2016 and I can get any fruit any time. I’m not a strict locavore, but I do like to pay attention to the seasons. Out-of-season fruit is EXPENSIVE. And even more importantly, out-of-season fruit is kind of gross and tasteless. So here we are: Apple Season.
Babystar thinks applesauce is baby food. I make homemade freaking delicious cinnamon applesauce but she hates it. Whatever; more for me. However, the grandparents brought us a peck of delicious yummy apples from an orchard in Maryland so we have apples for
days WEEKS and I had to figure out a way to slice them that Little Miss Five Teeth could eat without choking. And I got tired of peeling apples all the time.
This seems to work.
- Use the apple corer as per usual.
- Use a knife to cut one regular human sized slice into three or four thin baby-bitable slices.
- Score the peel so that the bits are so small that she can swallow them whole.
Voila! ToddlerMonster-safe apple slices!*
RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,235.18
*I am not a doctor or nutritionist or in any way qualified to tell you how to feed your child. Your toddler might choke on apples. Your very small baby probably WILL choke on apples. You know your kid better than I do.