NaBloPoMo – BabyCostsMoney

#NahDoNoMo

Published on November 18, 2016December 12, 2016 by Darlene DeeLeave a comment

Mommy’s all right. Daddy’s all right. They just seem a little weird.

A little? Ok, sure. Whatever. The point is, I SURRENDER.

It is now November 18. We are officially deep into the second half of the month. My big plans for A Blog Post A Day did not work out. No #NaBloPoMo success for me. But that’s ok. The big winner is YOU. Because it turns out, I don’t always have anything interesting to say. Like right now, for example.

My new November hashtag is #NahDoNoMo. Nah, I’m not going to Do it No More.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,266.46

Restraint.

Published on November 16, 2016December 12, 2016 by Darlene Dee5 Comments

The other day after a fun hour or so at Busy Bees ($15 but we also went today so $30 total), we popped into Target for granola bars. (We eat a LOT of granola bars in our house and they are cheapest in the big box at Target. Well, they are REALLY cheap in the giant box at Costco, but the teenagers won’t eat the peanut butter flavored ones so it’s not really a good deal after all because I don’t want to eat thirty peanut butter flavored granola bars. Ever, really, but certainly not every month. I digress.)

I found the cutest holiday outfit for Babystar and I did not buy it. Repeat: I WENT TO TARGET AND DID NOT BUY ANY BABY CLOTHES.

You guys, it had stars (mandatory), sparkle, and it was not a dress! Perfection with matching shoes! AND I DID NOT BUY THIS.

The outfit was $16.99 and the shoes were $22.99 but you know what? She already has a perfectly fine holiday outfit — the same one that she wore for her dedication. It’s a dress, but she will live. I don’t need to spend $40 for a new outfit. That’s not to say that I won’t ~~crack~~ change my mind and buy it later. Especially if it goes on sale. But for now: RESTRAINT. I bought my granola bars and went home.

And then the very next day? I went into Carter’s to return the extra Halloween costumes that I had stressbought (which should be a word) and once again I had so much restraint! Ok, so I did exchange the Halloween items instead of return them. I traded them for a five-pack of onesies, size 24 months, and a very cute long sleeve shirt. Babystar only had two onesies that fit and I like to layer in the winter. And just look at this long sleeve t-shirt. Everything was on sale and I only owed $1.28 at the register. Not bad. RESTRAINT.

I don’t know what has gotten in to me. Or yes, I do. I have watched this adorable human grow out of season after season of clothes. I have given away items that I know she never wore — or only wore a couple of times. I have watched that number at the bottom of each post creep higher and higher and it is downright terrifying.

And I have another theory. I am finally getting enough sleep. My brain is more able to function properly. (Sort of. I still forget where I am going on the way to the park. And I kind of already forgot my point.) But sometimes, when the planets are aligned properly, I can use my deductive reasoning skills and my common sense and all of the other cool smart lady traits I know I still possess (somewhere) and stop BUYING ALL OF THE STUFF for this small creature that will wear the same clothes every day and not care at all and only wants to play with tampon boxes and the mixing bowls anyway.

Anyone else ever have a similar epiphany?

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,266.46

FURTHER RESTRAINT: I am not blogging every day per the NaBloPoMo guidelines. I don’t really have that much to talk about and I hate spam. Many of you doing NaBloPoMo are killing it. Good for you. I like following along. I am not killing it. And I am sort of fine with that.

Apple Hack.

Published on November 15, 2016December 12, 2016 by Darlene Dee3 Comments

Like pretty much every ToddlerMonster on the planet, Babystar loooooves fruit.

Autumn is tricky, though, because apples are in season. And apples want to choke my baby so very badly.

(Yes, I know about pears. I love pears. Babystar loves pears. But they are sosososososo SO SO messy. They are delicious and sticky and drippy and apparently VERY FUN to squish in a tiny fist before licking off of a tiny hand. So I’ve heard. We eat pears just before bath time. Or if we don’t have anywhere to be for a few hours. We rarely eat pears for breakfast because the clean up time is ridiculous.)

I also know that this is 2016 and I can get any fruit any time. I’m not a strict locavore, but I do like to pay attention to the seasons. Out-of-season fruit is EXPENSIVE. And even more importantly, out-of-season fruit is kind of gross and tasteless. So here we are: Apple Season.

Babystar thinks applesauce is baby food. I make homemade freaking delicious cinnamon applesauce but she hates it. Whatever; more for me. However, the grandparents brought us a peck of delicious yummy apples from an orchard in Maryland so we have apples for ~~days~~ WEEKS and I had to figure out a way to slice them that Little Miss Five Teeth could eat without choking. And I got tired of peeling apples all the time.

This seems to work.

Use the apple corer as per usual.
Use a knife to cut one regular human sized slice into three or four thin baby-bitable slices.
Score the peel so that the bits are so small that she can swallow them whole.

Voila! ToddlerMonster-safe apple slices!*

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,235.18

*I am not a doctor or nutritionist or in any way qualified to tell you how to feed your child. Your toddler might choke on apples. Your very small baby probably WILL choke on apples. You know your kid better than I do.

Keep Them Safe.

Published on November 10, 2016December 12, 2016 by Darlene Dee7 Comments

How safe is the Internet? Probably not very, right?

I’ve read a lot of articles recently from moms (and dads) who have made the decision to keep their kid’s photos offline. I fully support that. I clearly don’t DO it, but I totally support it.

I wonder where my line is, though. I would never post any naked baby pictures, of course. I don’t post Babystar’s real name. I rarely post about the older kids because I feel like I need their approval first and that’s usually such a damn hassle. Plus, I’m not adding up their expenses. (If I did, I would expect a LOT more in the way of household chores. I’m talking BREAKFAST IN BED. Kids are expensive.)

So maybe, my line is when she can tell me if it’s ok. Or perhaps when she has a life outside of my life. I’m not sure.

Also, I will not tell embarrassing things about my kids online. But I can’t think of anything that would be embarrassing to a BABY. Literally, nothing. Babystar could eat dog food with her finger up her nose and then open her diaper and smear poop everywhere and I still don’t think that would be embarrassing because she is a BABY. It would be fucking horrible but not embarrassing.

In fact, my mother tells me that I did indeed pull open my diaper in my crib once and when she came to get me after my nap, I was smeared in poop. This was before video monitors. And maybe even before old fashioned sound-only baby monitors. I don’t remember this, because I was a BABY, but as a baby, I’m sure I ate poop. Still, I am zero embarrassed about that time I ate poop, BECAUSE I WAS A BABY.

But if Babystar wets her pants at kindergarten, I won’t tell the world. I mean, unless she asks me to.

Babystar wants me to stop typing now.

What is your line, fellow Mommy Bloggers? Or Facebookers with Children? Or just Parents with Internet?

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,235.18

Toddlers Be Like.

Published on November 9, 2016December 12, 2016 by Darlene DeeLeave a comment

Toddlers be like, Oh Hey Ma, you just cleaned the kitchen. I’ll fix it while you take 43 seconds to pee and speed wash your hands nbd.

Cool, now please make me an egg. (With the sign language please and everything so I just die and do it and clean it all over again someone help I think I have Stockholm Syndrome.)

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,235.18