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Monday’s Mama is Salty AF.

Published on December 4, 2017December 4, 2017 by Darlene Dee4 Comments

Today I would like to introduce one half of The Salty Mamas. Christine has three kids and one husband and yet she still helps run one of the funniest new(ish) mommy blogs on the internet.

Side note: my computer kept autocorrecting that to new(fish) and I really want to know WHY. Is new(fish) a thing?

Christine (and Jaymi but shh we are talking about Christine today) blogs and tweets and shares her life on Instagram and Facebook. She is also a bujo queen. I learned that word from this salty lady. Bujo means bullet journaling and I have no idea how she finds time to do anything. I am fairly certain that this woman doesn’t sleep. Though she does bujo her kid’s sleep. She’s maybe nutso.

That’s probably why I like her so much. Plus she was nice enough to answer some of my questions.

1. Black Friday: An opportunity for serious deals, a travesty of capitalism, or something in between? You two are the HUSTLING-EST mamas I know. Did you score any Black Friday door busters?

HELLS YES to Black Friday. But really, my specialty is the Micro Hustle, so you won’t find me hunkered outside a Best Buy as soon as I’ve eaten my pie. Our tradition is that we go when the kids wake up , which means we’re at Target at 5 am. There are still some AMAZING deals, and the place is empty because the diehards finished up at midnight and a casual Black Friday Shoppers won’t get there until about 8. Then we hit the mall, do some more shopping before it gets nuts and take her pictures with Santa. And then get breakfast. And then spend the rest of the weekend on Amazon to finish up.

2. You used to plan events in your past life. Did this trickle over to SAHM life? Are you the Playdate Planner of your mama crew?

No. Not even a little. The Mommy Brain has killed my planning skills and now planning a birthday party is like organizing an International Peace Summit. I’m much more likely to forget to show up to your playdate. BUT, when I do get my act together the three times a year I do plan something? It’s pretty bomb. Which reminds me, I should really start working on Evie’s birthday party…

3. What is your favorite family holiday tradition? What is something that you skip?

We do lots of traditional things like pajamas on Christmas Eve, and some with a twist, like the carrots for the reindeer have to have the long green leaves still on. But we also have some wacky traditions and I love them all because they’re very us. One of my favorites is the Chad and I go to Target together to buy each other stocking gifts each year. We split apart and run through the store like Supermarket Sweep trying to hide from each other and get the best stocking stuff. We almost always end up getting a couple of the same things for each other.

My skip is the same as my partner in crime Jaymi’s (coming soon to a Blog near you, so: TEASER!) and I don’t want to steal her thunder. Oh, but I’m never adding it as a tradition. (And now you have suspense and mystery!)

4. It’s the PTA Bakesale. Handmade, store-bought, or nope?

Gut reaction: NOPE.

I’m a BIG fan of throwing money at the problem when possible. Because I have zero desire to juggle dough, dirty kitchen and three Gremlins unless a fair amount of the baked goods are going directly into MY pudgy belly. Having said that, the good people the bake sale don’t want to buy Oreos through the middle man, so probably offer Jaymi / my Mom/ my sister one thousand dollars to bake for me. They love me, so they protest the cash money and I pay them in Diet Cokes forever.

If you are not following the Salty Mamas, you’re doing it wrong. But don’t worry. There’s always room to add a dash of salt to your life.

Monday’s Mama is Two-Dimensional AF.

Published on October 2, 2017October 1, 2017 by Darlene Dee21 Comments

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in James’s Giant Peach? Or maybe Toontown? Or a Cool World?

Erika from Dorky Mom Doodles totally lives in that world with her family. At least, she lives there on the internet (where you can be anything you want to be especially if you want to be mean in the comment section which Erika is decidedly NOT).

Erika is SUPER nice. A super nice cartoon mom that shares all of the hilarious things her cartoon family does with all of us three dimensional people. She’s basically the Matt Groenig of Mommy Blogs and EVERYONE loves the Simpsons.

If you haven’t seen Dorky Mom Doodles, go check her out now. I’ll wait.

You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter. She isn’t on Instagram anymore but she TOTALLY belongs there. Doodles belong in squares!! We can try to convince her if we work together. Let’s start by signing this petition! (<–you can click there or you can TOTALLY CLICK THE PICTURE BELOW because I figured out how to turn a picture into a link!!)

Dorky Mom Doodles creator Erika is a SAHM to two kids. When she isn’t busy with the typical mom stuff (soccer, changing diapers, and refereeing shouting matches), she enjoys Netflix binges, reading, and creating ~~bad~~ AWESOME doodles for her blog. (She said bad. I said awesome. I am correct.)

She answered a few questions for me and it turns out she is even cooler than I knew.

1. Do you have any training in art or are you just naturally amazing?

I haven’t taken an art class since middle school, so no, I have no training whatsoever. This is probably painfully obvious at time considering how badly drawn the arms on my people are!

2. If you could be any superhero, with both their powers and weaknesses, which would you choose?

Wonder Woman. She is nothing short of amazing, and having that lasso of truth would certainly come in handy at times — especially when I’m trying to get to the bottom of some kid drama.

3. It’s the PTA Bake Sale: homemade, store bought, or NOPE?

Homemade. I usually hate functions like this, but I can bake the hell out of some cookies, cakes, and pies. I’ll take one for the team just so I can show off.

Erika rocks. Plus she once made my dreams come true by Doodling Babystar and I and she even made my hair purple. Thank you, Erika!!

(Look! I hyperlinked the picture again!! I am basically a computer nerd now.)

(I wish.)

Monday’s Mama is Fierce AF.

Published on September 18, 2017September 3, 2017 by Darlene Dee5 Comments

This Monday I would like to introduce my virtualfriend Ashley Marsh.

Ashley is a badass Bay-area blogger who is originally from Utah. She has two beautiful little boys, Cash (4) and Tate (22 months). She is a full-time student pursuing a Ph.D. in psychiatry. Ashley started blogging as a way to vent some of her anger and frustration while she was suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety. She continues to post about anxiety, depression, feminism, day-drinking, abortion, politics, hall passes, and all of the other things Mommy Bloggers aren’t supposed to write about at A Vodka Kind of Mom. I highly recommend you follow her blog, because you never know what kind of genius will fall into your inbox. You can also find her on Instagram and Facebook.

1. Tell me about your first tattoo? Your favorite tattoo? Would you get EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM again?

My first tattoo was a very small crown behind my ear. I was terrified to get it done so I smoked a little weed and had a few drinks before hand. I could do this because my then boyfriend was a tattoo artist. I got to lay in my bed and watch Jersey Shore. It didn’t hurt at all, and not because I wasn’t sober, it is just not a painful area. My favorite tattoo is probably the bird I have on my hip. It sort of resembles a Phoenix but it’s a mixture of blues and purples with a long feathery tail that goes onto my butt and the head comes up over my hip close to my stomach. I would get them all again. I have some with my ex-boyfriend but I don’t mind. I never tattooed his name or anything like that and they always make for good stories.

2. How are you raising your boys to be feminists?

With my boys only being 4 and 22 months they don’t understand the concept of feminism and I can’t preach that to them because they will just ignore me. Instead, when my 4-year-old makes comments about how boys are stronger, I tell them mama Annie and mama Tiff (two friends of ours who do body building competitions) are very strong, maybe even stronger than daddy! I also make sure they know the concept behind consent. If my boys don’t want to play a certain way I stop immediately. My husband doesn’t follow this rule and it drives me insane. I’m constantly getting on his ass about it, but he never listens. I teach them it’s okay to play with girls, to play with girls things, to paint their toes if they want, to break gender norms because they are being trained those things, they aren’t true.

I truly do believe the best thing I can do is show my children through my own actions about raising men and women up, treating all genders, races, and sexual orientations equally, as well as fighting for equality and inclusivity for everyone. I know I sound like one of those crazy hippy moms from the Bay Area, and I kind of am in a way, but I think it’s important to raise my boys this way. Any and all suggestions are welcome! I am still so new to this parenting thing.

3. It’s the PTA Bakesale: homemade, store bought, or NOPE?

Store bought for sure! I may put it on a fancy plate to try and disguise my store bought lazy ness. However, if my husband is willing I would enlist him to make his delicious pecan pie.

Bouncing Baby Girl.

Published on June 6, 2017June 8, 2017 by Darlene Dee3 Comments

Twice last month we went to Dynamic Gymnastics Open Gym for little ones ages 0-5. If you are in the Northern Virginia area, definitely check it out. The first time we went, my two girls and I had the entire gym to ourselves. (The second time we invited some friends.)

The Teenager has been a gymnast for years, and she’s lobbying for me to put Babystar in gymnastic classes. I’m not ready for that kind of commitment, so Open Gym is a great compromise. Babystar gets to play on the cool equipment and bounce around at her own pace. Plus she loves watching her big sister do ‘cool tricks.’

The 0-5 Open Gym at Dynamic Gymnastics is every Monday and Wednesday from noon to 1pm, $10 per kid.

We also paid another $120 to continue our membership at Nook and bought a 3-visit pass to Busy Bees for $36 plus a $15 2-for-1 deal at Busy Bees with a friend.

There are millions of playgrounds in the area and Babystar really does adore the parks. But I think the indoor play spaces are a nice change for both of us. Not all playgrounds have fences. And all playgrounds have at least one tempting but highly dangerous for a not-quite-two-year-old feature. And that highly dangerous but superfine feature is always Babystar’s most favorite thing. Every. Single. Time. So playing indoors is much more relaxing for ME. And I’m the boss, applesauce.

Parents, where do you stand on free parks versus pricey indoor play spaces?

RAISING BABYSTAR: $18,068.65