The Longest Christmas Season.

Did you know that this year we have the most days possible between Thanksgiving and Christmas?

Which means that THIS YEAR we have the longest Christmas season possible.

I love lights and trees and wrapping presents and holiday playlists so this is SO LIT.

We bought Christmas trees the day after Thanksgiving. The ToddlerMonster was super excited. But she didn’t want a big tree. (Mama did though so obvs we have one.)

But she got her little tree too. HER CUTE FACE IS IRRESISTIBLE! Literally impossible to resist.

christmas tree cutting

littletree

The little tree is in her bedroom, waiting for ornaments. ($40 plus a $25 small stand.) I have a feeling we have started a new tradition.

Oh look, there’s that $9.99 robot pillow we bought at Ikea. Yet another offering to the Goddess of Tantrum-Free Shopping.

What else have I forgotten? Gas. For years and years, I filled the minivan once a month. I worked from home and I hate driving anywhere outside the beltway. But now, I fill the tank TWICE a month. I still don’t often leave the beltway but Babystar and I find ourselves on mini adventures every day. This started when she was about eighteen months old and noticed that we were walking to the same three playgrounds and one library. So a year ago. And a tank of gas is about $40. I’ll add $480 for the last year and $40 per month going forward unless something changes.

Oh, and diaper pail liners! We buy one pack of Harris Teeter brand thirteen-gallon trash bags every month and we only use them in the Ubbi diaper pail. We bought the diaper pail in February of 2016, twenty-one months ago. The bags are $6.47 per box. Um. Math. That’s $135.87 so far. And I’ll add the $6.47 going forward until we are done with diapers.

I wonder what else I have missed. There hasn’t been a change in the electric bill or anything like that. I used to work from home, so we had the air or heat on all the time anyway. Am I overlooking anything obvious?

Yes. The Target Baby Box. $7.42. They only offer the Baby Box once in awhile but I got one last month! We already love the honest face and body lotion — both of us. Babystar likes to lotion her hands and legs and put on chapstick just like mama. SO CUTE I COULD DIE. (You see why she gets her own Christmas tree just by asking nicely, right??)

target baby box fall 2017

And again with the food. Below is November’s list. I KNOW that this part is horribly boring but I’m really all about the accuracy here. Just skip reading this part. I don’t mind. I barely want to write it. All those bullet points and typing, ugh. Amirite?

  • Costco fruit bowl 9.99
  • waffles 2.50, 2.50
  • blueberries 6.99, 3.99
  • pirate’s booty 8.99
  • Costco hot dog 1.50
  • IKEA pizza 1.75
  • IKEA hot dog .75
  • IKEA water 1.00
  • Trader Joe’s strawberry bar 1.99, 1.99
  • Trader Joe’s fig bar 1.99
  • Trader Joe’s toaster strudels 2.69, 2.69
  • Mac and cheese 2.99, 2.99, 2.99, 2.99
  • cheese slices 4.99
  • pasta snakes (penne) 1.49
  • letter cookies 2.99
  • bananas 1.50
  • Honest juice boxes for popsicles 3.69, 3.69
  • frozen pizzas (don’t judge me!) 3.14 3.14, 2.15, 2.15, 2.15, 2.15 (hell of a sale!)
  • vanilla ice cream 4.49
  • McDonald’s Happy Meal 2.99, 2.99, 4.19 (they gave me the wrong one but I didn’t bother to complain), 2.99
  • Chick-fil-A kid’s meal with uncharge on my fries to share 3.49 + .20
  • Chick-fil-A kid’s meal 3.49 + .20
  • Chick-fil-A kid’s meal 3.49 + .20
  • Chick-fil-A kid’s meal 3.49 + .20
  • cantaloupe 3.99
  • grapes 4.24, 4.76
  • tots 3.49, 1.65
  • Panera kid’s meal 4.99
  • small box of cereal at 7-11 1.99 (ripoff)
  • Busboys and Poets kid’s pasta and juice plus tip 10.00
  • Harry’s fries plus tip $7
  • goldfish crackers 2.49, 1.79
  • animal crackers 1.49
  • Haagen Dazs sundae 5.68
  • turkey pepperoni 2.19, 2.19
  • strawberries 2.99
  • penguin crackers 1.49, 1.49, 1.49

We bought some other boring stuff in November.

  • diapers 23.49, 15.09
  • bubble bath 14.09
  • baby wipes 3.49, 2.99, 4.99, 2.99, 3.29
  • laundry detergent 8.46
  • storage unit 127.00

 

Hopefully you haven’t read all the way down here because WHO CARES about the cost of grapes in November although why are grapes always on sale in November? I never noticed until I started writing this shit down. It’s such a weird time for them to be in season. When is grape season? I need to go to bed.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $24,297.64

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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July is for Ice Cream and Popsicles.

Babystar is ALL ABOUT POPSICLES. We bought the Popsicle brand (that’s a brand, right?) sugar-free version but then she was eating SO MANY of them that we were like, hold up, aspartame and food dyes are bad, right? (My husband pointed this out and I was a proud Crunchy Mama and also an embarrassed Crunchy Mama because I should have thought of this myself. But alas, I am forever a TIRED Crunchy Mama so I immediately forgave myself and then forgot what I forgave myself for.)

**Blogger’s Note: I learned at Wordcamp DC that you should avoid run-on sentences for better SEO so basically I’m fucked because run-on sentences are totally my bae. And so is (ironic) slang which is another SEO no-no. Um, whoops?

What was I talking about? Was it sleep? It is usually sleep. Oh! Popsicles.

I had previously purchased a pack of popsicle molds at Ikea and I had a bunch of Honest juice boxes left over from Babystar’s birthday party so I filled the popsicles molds with juice and crossed my fingers that she would like them. SHE LOVED THEM. And these are way better for her than the store-bought popsicles. I could make them even healthier by adding vegetable juices but I’m a bit too lazy for all that. I like having that option, though. I can pretend to be a much better mother than I actually am.

 

ALSO: One Honest juice box fills THREE Ikea size popsicle molds and a pack of forty juice boxes at Costco is $9.99 so these babies are less than nine cents each. I let Babystar have as many of these homemade popsicles as she wants, because she only ever drinks water otherwise. If she eats six popsicles in a day (honestly about average) but only eats half of each popsicle (her usual M.O.), she’s basically had one juice box. I am completely fine with that.

Since Babystar usually only eats about half of one before it is a drippy mess, we taught her to put the popsicle stick in the sink when she is finished. (Yay for independent toddlers!) Of course, the grown-ups in the house have to check the garbage disposal for the popsicle sticks and we have failed more than once. I was at Ikea shopping for Dorm Essential (SOB!) last week so I bought three more packs of the popsicle molds (only $1.99 now!) so that we never ever ever run out of popsicles.

We also bought some more food for Babystar in July. Though she really isn’t eating that much right now. And we rolled into July with a surplus (due to lots of family visiting).

  • Strawberries $3, $3, $1.29, $1.29, $1.29
  • Blueberries $3.99, $1.99, $3.12
  • Popsicles $3 (before the switch)
  • Apples $4.99, $3.99, $3.99
  • Honest juice boxes at Costco $9.99
  • Granola bars $1.99
  • Frozen french fries (we bought more but we share so only one on her tally) $3.59
  • Animal crackers $1.49, $1.49
  • Penguin crackers $1.49, $1.49, $1.49, $1.49
  • Pasta Snakes (Babystar’s name for penne) $1.39
  • Sea bass (spoiled baby) $12
  • Cod $4.50
  • Rotisserie chicken (half) $2.50
  • Tots $3, $1.65, $1.65
  • Haagen-Daas ice cream on a stick $3
  • Chick-fil-A kids meal $3.39, $3.39, $3.39, $3.39
  • McDonalds kids meal $2.99, $2.99
  • Cracker Barrel kids meal $4.99
  • La Cantina kids quesadilla $5.50
  • Pizza at food court $3.69
  • Haagen-Diaz cone with sprinkles (yes she had to have the sprinkle cone) $6.83
  • Peter Chang’s Spring Rolls and fried rice $3.50, $3.50, $3.50
  • Estimated overtipping for dining out with a toddler $15 (five meals out)

I’m also going to add in some boring things that do not deserve their own blog post but we totally bought so I need to add into the total somewhere and here is as good as anywhere.

  • Baby nail clippers two-pack (I briefly lost hers but of course I found them again) $4.55
  • Nook membership for May/June/July $360 ($120 per month and we love it; Nook is not boring but constantly posting about the monthly fee is boring. And they are discontinuing the monthly membership option as of today, which makes me sad but might mean cooler things are coming. We shall see.)
  • The train at Tyson’s Mall which is NOT boring but I forgot to post about it $10, $11 (They either charge more on weekends or less with cash but I need to investigate this discrepancy.)
  • White paper pads from Target $2.19 (x6).  Babystar looooves coloring so I have a special drawer for her with crayons and paper so she can color when the inspiration strikes which is every single second.
  • Giant pack of AA batteries from Costco $14.99. I realize that most of these batteries go into Babystar’s toys. (Toys that were gifts because what parent purchased battery-operated toys ON PURPOSE?)

RAISING BABYSTAR: $20,336.21