Our Couch Runneth Over.

Babystar’s friends are taking over the place. We started sitting them on the couch back when there were only a few stuffed creatures, but as all parents know, those babies MULTIPLY. I think they are going to have to be relocated — but to where? Her bedroom is completely on trend with the new tiny house movement, but those tiny houses aren’t meant to house twenty six individuals including a family of bears.


We did purchase some of these — but most are gifts. Plus every time the Teenager visits her grandparent’s attic in Florida she brings back more of her old Care Bears for her little sister. Which is completely sweet and adorable but also STAAAAAHP.

In spite of our overcrowding problem, I just let Babystar bring home ANOTHER FRIEND from Target. We already lived with the Demigod of the Wind and Sea, so we needed Moana of Motunui ($8.99) to bring a little estrogen to Babystar’s boat.

PS: her boat is a salad bowl.


RAISING BABYSTAR: $18,099.13

Baby’s First Pedicure.

I was well into my twenties before I ever had a pedicure. I mean, I painted my toenails myself of course, but the whole pay-someone-to-rub-my-feet thing came late for me. I guess I was sheltered. (Or more like broke.)

Pedicures are now one of my favorite things in life; Babystar always notices my ‘pretty toes’ and they are usually painted blue.

My oldest daughter was seven when she had her first pedicure. She was at the beauty salon with me and my friends while we were getting ready for my wedding, and she got a mini-pedicure and clear polish.

Because there is a giant age gap between my children, Babystar is along for the ride on a lot of big girl adventures. In the tradition of tagging along for special occasions, Babystar came with me and her big sister to get pedicures last Thursday. Big Sister had prom on Friday.

She sat on my lap during our pedicures and played with the buttons on the massage remote, making some very interesting patterns on my back. The lovely lady that always does my pedicures gave Babystar a little leg lotion and Babystar was fascinated. Which is super weird, because my wiggly toddler usually cannot stand for me to put any type of lotion (or SUNSCREEN) on her little body. She was so excited and proud to be with us, so when she said ‘I blue toes too,’ I agreed. My sweet little still-one-year-old baby held so still while getting her toenails painted blue. And she is so very proud to show everyone her blue toes like mama.


What do you think? Too young? Or ok since it was for a special occasion? Or totally fine and no special occasion needed? My little monster loves snakes and bugs and pretty dresses and stars and rocks and dinosaurs and ponies. But she mostly loves whatever Big Sister and Mama are doing.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $17.018.12

Ezpz Bowling.

I’m not talking about the kind with bumpers.

Although, real talk, I totally bowled in the bumper lanes with my kids. I don’t even want to go bowling anymore now that the teens are past the age of bumper lanes.

And I was still terrible.

I’m way better at Wii Bowling and I know that is so ten years ago but whatever I still have a Wii and I still play sometimes. My Wii age is like 65 though. Yours?

WAIT WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT.

Oh, right. I bought the ezpz bowl. I like the two ezpz minimats that we have. We use them as ‘snack plates’ on the little side table in the living room when we are too lazy to cook a real dinner but still need to feed the toddler healthy food. We sometimes eat late night (fancy) cheese and (fancy) crackers and (fancy) salami for dinner around here. I know. We fancy. And we share with Babystar but also give her fruit and veggies. (Just kidding it’s all fruit.) And we cut her food smaller so she doesn’t choke and stuff. Plus she takes one hundred hours to eat so if we didn’t save some for her she would be hungry all the time.

And now she wants to eat cereal or pasta or whatever out of bowls with spoons ALL BY HERSELF so I bought the ezpz bowl hoping it would stay put on her high chair. Her spoon skills are rudimentary at best.

The ezpz bowl does STAY on her Ikea high chair (unless she actively tries to remove it but duh it’s not glued down) but it doesn’t exactly FIT. Whoops. I should have measured.

Has anyone cut one of these? I’m thinking that has to be the solution. It totally ALMOST FITS. But at $24.98 (including shipping), I’m a little scared to cut it. Will it completely fall apart? No, right? Right? Please share any knowledge you might have. Or opinions. Or inspirational quotes about cutting things down to size or whatever.

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RAISING BABYSTAR: $14,097.19

It’s Beginning to Look a Tiny Bit Like Christmas.

Just a little, though. HOW IS IT DECEMBER 21 ALREADY? By my math, I still have about three more weeks until Christmas. Right?

We bought a tree. I haven’t bought most gifts. Amazon Prime and I have a hot date tonight. I’m already chilling the pinot noir YES I KNOW IT’S RED WINE DON’T HATE.

The Teenagers and I made gingerbread houses last weekend. We totally had the Trader Joe’s White House kit from July, Haunted House kit from Halloween, and Gingerbread House kit from modern days, and we made them all into Christmas themed masterpieces. We listed to Christmas music and everything. Ta-dah! (Babystar was at Costco with her dad.)

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Why yes, my smartass son did make the White House and updated it to the Trump House. That orange blob is Mr. Trump. That lady on the top is Hillz. When they go low, she goes high? Ah, Millennials.

We hung felt ornaments on the tree that the Girl Teenager and I made a few years ago. Babystar keeps taking them off the tree and putting them back on and taking them off. So sometimes there are twenty and sometimes there are zero.

We also made some ornaments this year out of card stock and stickers, and we bought some foam and wood ornament making kits at Target but have not made them yet. Scratch that. The OMG NOW HE IS 20yo and Babystar made one. One. But he’s gone on the airplane now, so luckily I’ve got a date tomorrow with my 3yo niece to help make some more ornaments before Santa gets here. I bought washable markers to replace the ones in the kits because I am smart. And I bought a cute zipper case with bunnies on it to replace the delicious looking semi-edible cardboard marker boxes because I like when Babystar makes the ‘sniff sniff’ bunny face. I also bought some art paper and sparkly ribbon to hang the card stock ornaments (not pictured) and everything was from either Target or Marshall’s (the bunny case) or Micheal’s and most of it was on sale. All of the ornament making craft supplies purchased this month are BECAUSE of Babystar so it’s all going on her tab. Total: $34.97. At least the markers and paper can help stock the Toddler Craft Closet that exists only in my mind right now.

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I also built bought a snowman at Marshall’s because Babystar loves her ‘That’s Not My Snowman’ book and is mildly obsessed with snowmen (and mittens) these days. And the snowman has mittens. Dude. $7.99. She loves him btw. We took him to the theater last week.

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Oh, right. We went to the theater. Actually, we went to a baby play were we sat on the floor but it was really good and held her attention for the entire thirty minutes. I was impressed. And surprised. Totally worth the $9 per ticket ($19.75 with fees). No, we didn’t have to buy a ticket for the snowman. And we have been to Busy Bees twice lately. But I finally got smart and bought the $36 gift card that covers three visits. Which saves $9 over the course of three visits. And we still have one visit left on the card. Yay!

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,796.18

 

 

 

Birthday Balloons.

No, we don’t celebrate half birthdays or anything although holy bananas, Babystar is zooming up on 18 months. Big Brother is here visiting and he turned 20. Two. Zero. TWENTY. I have been a mother for twenty years. You would think I would have this thing down by now. Whoops.

Babystar’s squirrel balloon lasted a loooong time but was on the floor when we came downstairs two days ago. So we went to the party store to get balloons for Big Brother’s Birthday (but really for her). A snowman, three stars, and a dinosaur happy birthday balloon. Babystar can’t read; I think she thinks it says RAWR. Plus we bought noisemakers and party hats (again for the kids — Babystar and my 3yo niece, NOT for this grown up man that I apparently gave birth to) for a total of $25.69.

Don’t worry, I bought desserts and actual birthday gifts for the birthday boy. But we all know these things were for Babystar so onto her tab they go.

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RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,697.47

A Very Kacey Christmas.

Last weekend, my husband and I went on a date. By ourselves. It was awesome. You see that picture up there? Damn, we look so tired. We needed it.

I see lots of parents on social media going out without their babies so I think I have a PARTICULARLY clingy little monster because she can only be left for a little while and not very often and only with her sister so I’m thinking I have to ban the Teenager from going to college, right? Just kidding. I’ll just send Babystar to college with her sister.

Anyway. If you have ideas, please help. My MIL told me that my darling husband was the same way. She had to quit her job because he cried at daycare all day long and got kicked out. Like a BRAT. So I do not wonder where she gets this from but DUDE HAVE SOME CHILL.

We went to dinner and then to see the Kacey Musgraves Christmas show. It was lovely. Both the show and the moving about freely without a tiny shadow. I PEED BY MYSELF MORE THAN ONCE.

We pay the Teenager for babysitting even though we also pay for her food and shelter. And shampoo and stuff. Her babysitting time is in high demand. Plus, I was the oldest growing up and very much resented the forced babysitting gigs. (Anyone else?) Did you know the going rate for babysitting around here is $10/hour?! (It really is — I checked.) I’m thinking I should totally start babysitting.

We also bought them pizza. Yes, them. My oldest is in town! But I still only paid $10/hour + pizza. I let them work out the details. Problem solving is an important life skill.

According to several Snapchats I received, Babystra played for a bit and then slept on her sister all night. Until fifteen minutes before we got home, apparently. She greeted me at the door at 11pm crying for MAMAMAAMMA.

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RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,671.78

Airplanes and Dinosaurs.

Babystar is growing out of her pajamas. I was SURE I was set for the winter. I just gave away everything up to 18 months (except for one pair of Carter’s fleece pajamas because all of Carter’s clothes run small except the fleece or terry footed pajamas and we just have to accept this fact). I am trying to squeeze some more wears out of her 18-24 months pajamas but they are basically capris. Babystar is not tall; I don’t get it. But it’s cold at night. And she hates blankets. So I bought some 2T jammies to hopefully get her through the winter. The cotton sets were buy one, get one half off. I bought two of the same, so four sets of airplane pajamas. Babystar loves airplanes. She waves to them and blows them kisses. She knows the difference between and airplane and a helicopter. It is really funny listening to her trying to say helicopter. The fleece dinosaur two-pack was on clearance. She also loves dinosaurs. Yes, I bought these in the ‘Toddler Boys’ department but she legit loves dinosaurs and airplanes. Which she learned about from her pink laptop and the sky, respectively. Also, why are airplanes and dinosaurs for boys and not girls? Many girls ride in AND fly airplanes. Amelia Earhart, anyone? (Ok, maybe she is a bad example.) And I happen to know from watching Jurassic Park that there were DEFINATELY girl dinosaurs. So, what’s the deal?

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Also, I did LOOK in the ‘Toddler Girls’ section for airplanes. I found two shirts on clearance for $2.25 each, but no airplane pajamas.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,527.96

A Thank You Gift.

It is late November and all around Internet World, everyone is posting about Thankfulness. Over half of the posts I see are about Thankfulness and Pumpkin Spice and the Best Way to Cook a Turkey. (Answer: Let someone else do it.)

I am so very thankful for many things.

I am thankful that I am lucky enough to stay home to take care of this ToddlerMonster.

I am thankful that my teenagers are good at board games and my husband brings home random chocolaty treats.

I am thankful for dry shampoo.

And I am thankful for you. Every single person reading this. THANK YOU!

I got you a present.

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Enter here!

I bought an extra Smart Bottoms Rainbow Star (it’s not really called that but it should be) cloth diaper at MommyCon this summer and it’s been sitting on the shelf (unused, I promise), just waiting for you! I only have one, so we gotta do the raffle thing. (This diaper is so bright and pretty — there is no filter on that photo!) a Rafflecopter giveaway

I love this print! It’s a Lil’ Tulips exclusive print called Incandescent Adventure and I have it (or it’s horizontal cousin, Luminescent Adventure) in diapers, a wet bag, and a BEAUTIFUL Tula baby carrier. I love it. I kind of want to keep it. But I love you too so I want to share. The giveaway is open until the end of November, and I will announce the winner on December 1st. Good luck! (US and Canada only please. Sorry. Those shipping prices, tho.)

We have a winner! Congratulations to Marissa P.!

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,282.74

Balloon Fetish.

Babystar looooves balloons. She wants to talk about them, find them in books, point to them, talk about them again, and then talk about them some MORE.

We bought her a balloon just before Halloween and it lasted a few weeks.

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We got another balloon on a random adventure to the National Harbor. It lasted one day. The balloon was free but parking was $10. Because I lost my parking ticket. Also, no matter what Siri or the Internet says, there is no Children’s Museum at National Harbor. Thanks goodness someone was passing out balloons that day.

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We bought another balloon last week ($6.28) because it is a freaking SQUIRREL balloon and even I am excited about that kind of ridiculousness. (Yes, I know I need a life. Shhhh.) Luckily, the squirrel balloon is still hanging in there. She kisses that thing good night. I’m worried about their future, though. She’s so young to have to experience such heartbreak, but I’m afraid it’s unavoidable.

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But OH EM EFFING GEE, none of these compare to how excited she gets when she sees the Apple 7 commercial.

So. My baby is a Balloon Addict. Can anyone tell me how to make youtube play on a loop? I am tired of pushing play every one minute and seven seconds. Y’all have seen the long version right? The director’s cut? Babystar blows kisses to the screen when the song says I love you, I love you, I love you. And so I die. And push the damn play button on my iPad again. Damn you, Apple.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,282.74

Keep Them Safe.

How safe is the Internet? Probably not very, right?

I’ve read a lot of articles recently from moms (and dads) who have made the decision to keep their kid’s photos offline. I fully support that. I clearly don’t DO it, but I totally support it.

I wonder where my line is, though. I would never post any naked baby pictures, of course. I don’t post Babystar’s real name. I rarely post about the older kids because I feel like I need their approval first and that’s usually such a damn hassle. Plus, I’m not adding up their expenses. (If I did, I would expect a LOT more in the way of household chores. I’m talking BREAKFAST IN BED. Kids are expensive.)

So maybe, my line is when she can tell me if it’s ok. Or perhaps when she has a life outside of my life. I’m not sure.

Also, I will not tell embarrassing things about my kids online. But I can’t think of anything that would be embarrassing to a BABY. Literally, nothing. Babystar could eat dog food with her finger up her nose and then open her diaper and smear poop everywhere and I still don’t think that would be embarrassing because she is a BABY. It would be fucking horrible but not embarrassing.

In fact, my mother tells me that I did indeed pull open my diaper in my crib once and when she came to get me after my nap, I was smeared in poop. This was before video monitors. And maybe even before old fashioned sound-only baby monitors. I don’t remember this, because I was a BABY, but as a baby, I’m sure I ate poop. Still, I am zero embarrassed about that time I ate poop, BECAUSE I WAS A BABY.

But if Babystar wets her pants at kindergarten, I won’t tell the world. I mean, unless she asks me to.

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Babystar wants me to stop typing now.

What is your line, fellow Mommy Bloggers? Or Facebookers with Children? Or just Parents with Internet?

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RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,235.18