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The Doctor is In.

Published on September 20, 2017September 19, 2017 by Darlene Dee8 Comments

You guys I have had SO MANY check ups this week. And this doctor doesn’t even take my insurance. But she does take popsicles. And so far, I have been declared ‘ok’. I am also EXTREMELY up to date on my shots. And your shots. And all of the neighbors shots.

(Lucky me. My husband had the audacity to cough during a check up and he was declared SICK. Babystar is a really good doctor. Even if she pronunces check up as chep-uck.)

Babystar is TERRIFIED of the doctor. All was well until our last visit, when she screamed and fought everything. She didn’t even like the scale. Which is weird because she LOVES the scale at home. (They wouldn’t take my word for her weight, though. I guess that is good but it was annoying.)

She also cannot handle band-aids if she actually has a need for one. She will put a band-aid on anything or anyone, including herself, any other time. I find them everywhere. In fact, I think I should add $7.99 for the multipack I bought recently because Babystar had used all the band-aids. And by ‘used’ I mean ‘wasted’. She can reach the band-aid drawer and almost always comes into the bathroom and pulls at least one out when I pee. Maybe more if I am too slow.

In an attempt to get her more comfortable with this whole doctor thing, I bought her a doctor kit. I really wanted an original Fisher-Price doctor set like the one I had when I was a kid. I totally should have stalked eBay or something. But I was impatient and I just bought the first one I found at Target. ($24.99)

Babystar LOVES it and I have had several thousand check-ups this week. According to the doctor, I am ok.

Adorably, when she bumps her head or stubs her toe, she comes to me for a check-up. As long as I use enough of the doctor tools, I can declare her ‘ok’ and she seems to buy it. I hope she doesn’t ever require proof of my nonexistent PhD.

Have you bought a doctor kit for your toddler? Did it help him or her feel more comfortable at the actual doctor’s office?
RAISING BABYSTAR: $21,173.44

Ballin’.

Published on January 10, 2017April 9, 2017 by Darlene Dee1 Comment

Once upon a time my little brother brought a slide into my living room for Babystar. Last month, he added a ball pit. It is her favorite thing ever. She plays in the ball pit every day. Her snowman plays in the ball pit. Her dinosaur plays in the ball pit. Her babies play in the ball pit. Errybody plays in the ball pit.

It used to belong to her cousin V, and some of the balls were crushed in the past two years. Babystar has upped her stunt game to include diving head first into the ball pit, so we decided to Amazon Prime a few more balls for some extra cushioning. $38.16 for two packs of 250 Fisher Price balls.

Guess who stopped by when there happened to be a giant Amazon box on the front porch? Yes, the awesome uncle who makes ball pits appear in the living room as if by magic brought the box in with him. Of course I had to let him dump all the new balls in the ball pit for Babystar. She stared up at him with so much joy. I think she likes him better than me now. I think she likes him better than PENGUINS now.

Babystar looks like a little turtle swimming in all those balls with just her head popping up. The new balls were smaller than the original ones, which actually makes for a nice mix. After two days of picking up ballsballsballs and putting them back in the ball pit, I took some out and hid them in a closet downstairs. She didn’t even notice, and now we have backup for when some of these get squished or lost or whatever happens to small plastic balls in this big scary world.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $14,263.39

Toddlers Be Like.

Published on November 9, 2016December 12, 2016 by Darlene DeeLeave a comment

Toddlers be like, Oh Hey Ma, you just cleaned the kitchen. I’ll fix it while you take 43 seconds to pee and speed wash your hands nbd.

Cool, now please make me an egg. (With the sign language please and everything so I just die and do it and clean it all over again someone help I think I have Stockholm Syndrome.)

RAISING BABYSTAR: $13,235.18

Crafty Bastards 2016.

Published on October 4, 2016December 12, 2016 by Darlene DeeLeave a comment

Best. Craft show. Ever.

We lovelovelove Crafty Bastards. Last year we bought a super cool monster, among other things. This year we came home with two pairs of freaking cute handmade harem pants for $23 each from Funky and Little and a wooden car for $10 from ArtSpace but actually from USWood Toys. If you are in the DC area, be sure to check out Crafty Bastards next year. I’ve noticed a trend toward more and more baby items. Or maybe I’m just noticing them now that I have a baby. Either way, cute stuff. Highly recommend.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $12,443.09

Babies Having Babies.

Published on September 28, 2016September 28, 2016 by Darlene Dee1 Comment

So apparently little Babystar tried to shoplift a Bitty Baby from the American Girl store at the Grove while we were in LA last month. Ok, I wasn’t there, but the Teenager says she picked up the box that was almost as big as her and was like, see ya.

Don’t worry. The taller, more law-abiding family members present intervened.

I wasn’t there THAT day (because I was at a taping of The Price is Right with my over-18 and therefore eligible son but no we did not win anything not even a new living room set or his and hers golf clubs but you can watch for me in the audience on October 25) but I WAS there a couple of days ago at Target when she spotted the baby dolls.

We take the toddlermonster to Target sometimes on rainy days to run out her wiggles. Sorry, Target. She sometimes rearranges your displays. I really do my best to fix them. Mostly. Anyway. We went there for a single pack of college ruled notebook paper for the Teenager and for some indoor sprintingfor Babystar. I somehow spent $100. Damn you, Target, you sorceress!

And now the Baby has a baby. And the Baby’s baby has a stroller. $12.99 and $9.99 respectively. (For comparison, Bitty Baby is $60 and her super fancy tiny jogging stroller is $58. Jeez, Mattel.) So I basically SAVED almost $100 because that is how shopping math works, right?

Babystar loooooves her baby. It is the cutest thing ever. I have had to be resuscitated at least five times now because I FREAKING DIE when she cuddles that baby. But then she eats the baby’s feet and throws the baby on the floor and the universe makes sense again.

Fun fact: I had to draw a belly button on the baby doll with a Sharpie because Babystar is obsessed with belly buttons and this baby didn’t have one. I bet Bitty Baby has one. Ugh.*

I also bough a pack of Target brand diapers (highly recommend) for $6.49.

And the baby found a fort.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $12,170.57

*I have nothing against Bitty Baby. Just kidding, I DO. $58 for the stroller?! $75 for a cradle?! The dresses are more than I spend on my ACTUAL BABY. I went down the American Girl path with the Teenager and I will.not.do.it.again. Ok, so I am HIGHLY PREJUDICED against Bitty Baby. Sorry, little plastic baby. NOT SORRY, Mattel.