She calls them dandy-blows.

Toddler malapropisms are just the best, right?

Please share your favorites with the class in the comments.

Babystar says actually instead of accidentally. So we hear a lot of ‘I actually dropped my crayon!’ and ‘I actually bumped my leg!’ Like she simply cannot believe what is happening. It is adorable and hilarious.

She has also learned the phrase ‘pretty sure’ but she uses it to mean ‘absolutely sure’. As in, ‘I’m sure I will share my sand toys with the other children. I’m pretty sure.’

(But she is actually speaking the truth because no one can ever be sure AT ALL that Babystar will share her sand toys.)

Babystar calls dandelions dandy-blows once they have turned to seed.

Tbh her word makes much more sense and I’d like to petition to have the name officially changed. Who is in charge of naming flowers please?

dandyblow4

This H&M dress was $7.99. This picture is priceless.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $28,437.29

Castle Babystar.

I have a very serious question.

HOW DID THE TINIEST PERSON IN THE FAMILY TAKE OVER THIS WHOLE HOUSE???

Ok, for example, look at this dining room. There is a tiny dining table in the tiny corner and the rest of the room is a rocking horse and ride on horse and a bunch of blank space because Babystar likes to RUN.

dining room

Please also notice the living room. This ENTIRE AREA is dedicated to a teepee fort for Babystar. And the window seat holds her adorable toddler books. Including the new box of Baby Lit board books that I bought her from Costco ($15.99) thirty percent because I thought she would like them and seventy percent because if Babystar is going to take over the house, then her things should at least be cute. (All I read are children’s books. HOW ON EARTH do other parents read books?!? Genuinely asking. I keep a book in the bathroom and I read one chapter per bath so I will likely finish it by my birthday. In September.) Oh! That adorable tiny wooden bookshelf is from Ikea ($24.99) and it’s perfect for toddler sized books.

That window seat is actually pretty cool. It holds books and a couple of Melissa & Doug puzzles. One puzzle set is the really cool one she played with last fall with her cousins. I finally found it (on CLEARANCE at Target for $8.98) and Babystar LOVES it. I think it is the perfect started puzzle for kids, because you just match the shapes to create a picture. You don’t actually have to fit one particular piece into one particular place. Genius. The other puzzle was given to us by our only Colorado friend (so far). Babystar gets to drive the vehicles around the puzzle path to match them to their homes. I mean it: Melissa and Doug are both GENIUSES.

Over here we have the toy box corner. That toy box ($42) is FULL and it’s not even her only toy box. It’s her living room toy box. I don’t have room in this giant fucking farmhouse for a desk which I really need but we have a DOWNSTAIRS TOY BOX.

toy box

And do you even see this freaking train table?!? It is taking up some prime real estate in the living room just so Babystar can have a place to play dinosaurs with her rocks. Oh, and she plays trains sometimes too. Sometimes the Trolls ride the trains. Ok, it really does make her happy. And it was FREE thanks to an awesome mama on an awesome Boulder mama Facebook page.

train table

We shoved the couches and lamps and end tables into the other corner over there and you better believe she STILL LEAVES HER TOYS ALL OVER THE COUCHES. Dude. What.

living room

Also one of those ottomans is full of papers that really belong in a desk. Help. Me.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $26,955.75

 

Stop This Train.

Babystar visited the Emergency Room this week.

She was scared but very brave and very very sweet.

Babystar just wanted to make sure that I would hold her the whole time at the doctor’s office. I promised that I would. We first went to Urgent Care because Babystar had not peed in twenty-four hours. And she had a fever for about half of that time. AND I gave her a choice of peeing or going to the doctor and she told me that she didn’t want to pee. So into the car we went.

Ok, technically she had not peed in twenty-three and a half hours, but Urgent Care closes at seven and the co-pay difference is $300. And since we just moved here, Babystar does not yet have a pediatrician. That changes today, by the way.

(Anyone in Boulder have a pediatrician recommendation pretty please?)

The doctors and nurses at Foothills ER were all very very nice but they definitely underestimated the strength of my little ToddlerMonster. Since she had not peed, there was concern of a possible UTI or other infection. Which meant they needed a urine sample. She is not potty-trained, and she was straight up refusing to pee, so they needed to do a baby catheter.

I wanted to cry but I was a brave strong mama. (We were there alone due to family logistical reasons.) And Babystar was on my lap because I PROMISED. (Well actually she was between my legs but she knew she was on mama’s lap so that’s all that mattered.)

Do you know that if you take a young child to the ER they basically put them in a straight jacket? They hold baby’s arms by his or her side and wrap a sheet around baby’s entire torso. MY baby was screaming and fighting this whole situation, and they wanted ME to hold her arms inside this torture device. MY sweet baby wiggled her arms up and out, but not to rip off the sheet or push away the nurses. She just wanted to hold my hands.

Things were not going as smoothly at the other end of the gurney. The nurses cleaned and prepped her but holding her down for the catheter was not working at all. Babystar is strong like mom, y’all. She has a shirt that says so and everything. They had to go get another nurse to help hold down my little thirty pound kicking machine.

They tried.

It didn’t matter in the end.

She. Peed. Everywhere.

I have never been so happy to be soaked in baby pee. (She was on my lap, remember?)

And for those med students following along, since she was prepped, she was clean. A quick thinking nurse collected a sample for testing. Actually, I think they managed to get two vials and they probably could have gotten twenty. There was SO. MUCH. PEE.

She even peed on her head. I didn’t know that she peed on her head, so when the nurses left and I was cleaning her and changing her clothes and giving her a million kisses, I kissed her head. Right on the pee. It was gross. I didn’t care.

Hashtag momlife, right?

I got to wear awesome blue paper scrubs and pretend to be J.D.

We waited around for about thirty more minutes and Babystar was pronounced bacteria-free.

BOOM. $350.

We have been talking a lot about the potty the last couple of weeks. Babystar will be three in June, and she is showing all the textbooks signs that she is ready for the potty. She knows when she is peeing or pooping in her diaper (because she always tells me right before it happens so I can be ready to change her because “remember that time I had a rash and it hurt?”) She hasn’t had a wet diaper overnight in almost a year. She has the ability to hold it. Obviously. And she actually DID pee in the potty about two weeks ago. We made her a chart with stickers and did the pee pee dance and she got some chocolate candies and we did ALL THE THINGS.

But she hates it. She doesn’t want to use the potty and she tells us all the time. So I told her we would stop. And that while she was sick, she could have m&m’s every time she pees in her diaper. My sweet funny Babystar got so excited and said, “we don’t have to go on the potty train anymore?”

Did I just push her potty training back to age four? Probably.

Will she go to college in diapers? Maybe.

Am I the worst mom in the world? Nah.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $26,819.73

 

We Interrupt This Blog…

To bring you the OLYMPICS!!

Just kidding. I haven’t seen a single minute of the Olympics.

But seriously though, I finally get the television hooked up again and everything is on hiatus for the next few weeks.

Which is kind of fine because I am STILL not finished unpacking.

boxes

And I’m also working on setting up Hulafrog Boulder (yay!) and I’ll be the Managing Editor which is super cool so please tell all of your Colorado friends to subscribe. (It’s free!)

I’ll be back soon. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not.

The Battle of Eczema.

Fresh delicate baby skin plus cold dry winter air equals eczema.

Also? Badass hardworking mama skin plus cold dry winter air equals eczema.

Babystar had the scaly skin of eczema the first winter she was alive. I kept it at bay with nightly coconut oil massages.

Last winter was quite mild, and I thought she maybe outgrew it.

But this winter is NO JOKE Y’ALL. I heard one weatherman say that it was colder than Mars. I didn’t fact check that, but it sounds legit. Most of America has been hibernating this winter.

The eczema has been taking over my family.

I will forever remember Christmas Eve Eve* as the night that Babystar woke up at 4am saying, ‘Mama, rub my back.’

The night that Babystar broke out in straight up red bumpy HIVES all over her back and neck and even a little on her chest.

The night that I spent hours researching rashes online and had almost convinced myself that my baby had Scarlet Fever. (I’m pretty sure Louisa May Alcott is responsible for that one.)

I still don’t know why her eczema flared up so badly that night. Maybe one too many baths? We were at my in-laws house in Myrtle Beach. I drove to Target on Christmas Eve morning for a travel humidifier ($29.99) and Seventh Generation Baby Sensitive Skin laundry detergent ($17.19) and a tub of extra virgin coconut oil ($8.99).

We stopped the baths and forced the oil on the baby. She hates it by the way. Once we got home, I tried to find an extremely sensitive lotion that she would tolerate and that would work. I have really dry skin and Princess Buttercup has really sensitive skin, so we had a lot of fancy potions to try.

Do you know what finally worked? Aveda hand relief moisturizing creme. It REALLY calms her skin. And she likes the way it feels. She calls it the ‘nice cream’.

I only had a travel size so I immediately drove to Aveda and bought two full size hand relief cremes ($48).

Her back is getting better but now her hands are flaring up. And she cannot stand the feeling of ‘cream’ on her hands.

(I’ve been tricking her by accidentally getting some on her hands and then ‘wiping it off’ aka rubbing it in. But I think she’s on to me.)

MAYDAY MAYDAY: Does anyone have any eczema advice?

My friend made me a sample of an essential oils cream but it has extra virgin coconut oil as a base. The potion works miracles on my hands, but Babystar screams and runs away if I try to rub any on her eczema.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $26,003.73

(I wrote this before we moved and now we are in Colorado and unpacking and I still don’t have any decent pictures for this post so please enjoy this photo of boxes.)

(Also, her eczema is getting better, though it’s still not gone. She bathes like a person of the Colonial times: rarely and in a tub of lukewarm water.)