Monday’s Mama is a Virgin Who Can’t Drive.

(RIP Brittany Murphy.)

Our December 25th Monday’s Mama is perhaps the most famous mama of all. She is SO famous, that when people say “Mother and Child”, they usually mean this chick.

Happy Labor Day, Mary of Nazareth.

mary pieta

Merry Christmas, to those of you that celebrate.

Merry Monday, to those of you that recognize the Roman calendar.

Babystar is growing up in a blended household. My husband is a practicing Christian. He even served a few years as a deacon in his church. A DEACON, Y’ALL. I was a Deacon’s Wife. I love his awesome multi-denominational Mennonite church. Everyone there is a hippie liberal social justice warrior. They all try to be like the chill Jesus dude. The Jesus that fed the hungry and welcomed immigrants and sheltered the homeless and advocated for the marginalized. On (most) Sunday mornings, Babystar goes to church with my husband and plays in the nursery with her friends. She sings songs and does crafts and has a snack and sits with the (three year old) big girls and she freaking loves it.

I love it too. I drink coffee in bed and enjoy the time to myself. I get a little upset when they don’t go to church. I’m not gonna lie. I may have insinuated insisted more than once that Jesus is probably crying because he misses them so much. (To my husband, not to Babystar. I’m not a monster.)

According to my husband, I am basically a hippie witch. I believe that everyone is right when it comes to religion. And everyone is wrong. I dig the ancient remedies, and I’m all about some candle magic and essential oils and herbal potions and putting spells into the Universe. Love and light, my friends.

We respect each other’s faith and spirituality. It works for us. We discussed this AT LENGTH before conceiving a child. We decided to expose her to both of our views, and other views, as they come up in life naturally. Babystar will someday choose for herself. And she will likely change her mind again and again. That’s ok.

Back to Monday’s Mama, who throughout history is the most famous Madonna of the two  Major Madonnas. Wikipedia says there have been between three and six billion bibles sold and only 300 million Madonna albums sold worldwide. (To be fair, the OG Madonna had a huge head start.)

Mary deserves better. If the hype is legit, Mary had a freaking BABY in a freaking BARN with no epidural, no drugs of any kind, no midwife or doctor or shaman. And the woman was surrounded by literal animals. Have you ever seen a Nativity Scene without at least a sheep and usually a camel? No.

Put the camel outside, people.

After all this, she gives birth to a god and THEN WHAT? How is she not a Goddess?!? At least the Catholics know she is Divine and made her a Saint.

mary halo

Jews for Jesus is a thing. A strange thing, but a thing nonetheless. Imma tell my husband to start Mennonites for Mary. I’m sure he’s going to get right on that.

 

3 thoughts on “Monday’s Mama is a Virgin Who Can’t Drive.

  1. This is an awesome piece, and he should totally get on that. All the “wise” men bring gold, frankincense and myrrh- she is having a baby in a cold barn so maybe like a blanket and hot rum would have been slightly more helpful?! And yep, put the camel outside people. Love it.

    Like

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