It has been HOT, y’all. SO HOT.

I am in Arlington, Virginia, and the heat has been no freaking joke.

I usually avoid the pool citing such reasons as sunburns and drownings and I’m lazy. But it is just SO DAMN HOT that I kind of feel obligated to take Babystar to the pool.

Please understand: Babystar hates the pool too. But she always always ALWAYS asks to go to the pool. Cries about it, even. So we put on her swim diaper and bathing suit and sunscreen and sun hat and water shoes. We pack a bag of towels and cold water. She unpacks the bag while I change into my suit at lightening speed, and then I repack the bag before we walk across the parking lot holding hands to the pool in our condo complex. (I said HOLDING HANDS. Sweetie, if you want to go to the pool you have to hold mommy’s hand to walk across the parking lot.) Sometimes we have to turn around because the ToddlerMonster refuses to hold hands, so we walk all the way back home and get in the Pink Car (her Little Tikes wheels) for the very short journey across the dangerous parking lot to the swimming pool. Which, as I believe I already mentioned, she hates.

When we get to the pool, she mostly hangs out on the first step. AFTER, of course, insisting that I get all the way wet, even though she will FREAK OUT if water gets near her face. Even though her favorite thing to do while hanging out on the steps is splash water near her face.

TODDLERS, amirite?

If Babystar goes past the steps at all, she is clinging hard to her lifeboat aka whoever has her in the pool. (Not like, whoever, as in I just pass around the baby in the pool. It is either me or one of her siblings that are also legal adults.)

I know that I need to take her to a baby swim class, but I missed the window for this summer as the waiting lists are eight thousand pages long. I think I need to take her this winter when no one else is thinking about swim classes. Are swim classes offered in the winter? I will google it later. Much later. Like probably next June.

Even though she appears to hate the pool, she doesn’t hate the water. She loves splash pads. I should take her to more splash pads. I want to, but the whole being wet and then getting back in the car thing suuuuuucks. (I can change her easily but not so much myself.) She also loves her baths. Although she hates to have her hair washed so at least she’s consistent on the whole getting-her-head-wet situation.

Babystar weighs almost 29 pounds and those Puddle Jumper floaty thingies all say they are for  30-50 pound kids but I DO WHAT I WANT. I bought her one to wear in the pool. I actually first bought a life vest for 25-33 pound babies but it didn’t really hold her up. I think. I never really let go of her, but it seemed like it wouldn’t hold her up. So I returned it and bought the kind with the arm floaties attached ($14.99). She seems happier so maybe it gives her more confidence. I don’t know. I can’t ask her. She doesn’t know what confidence is. (I mean, she has more confidence than most humans I know, but she doesn’t know the meaning of the actual word. Maybe that is the key to confidence!!)

RAISING BABYSTAR: $20,409.90