I joined a gang.

Our uniform is yoga pants.

We travel with snacks.

Looking out for our shorties.

I joined my local MOMS Club chapter. (As far as I can tell, MOMS is capitalized but it’s not an acronym. So I guess we can make up our own. Mothers or Misunderstood Saints? Make Our Mustaches Sparkle? Mischievous Otters Make Spanakopita?) Mostly, Babystar likes to look at other kids. And eat them a little bit, but that’s another story. Plus I wanted the scoop on all the cool neighborhood SAHM shindigs. (Mostly we go to parks.)

Membership was $25 plus some kind of pay-online fee.

RAISING BABYSTAR: $7,290.06